False God

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LetItGo, Sep 13, 2007.

  1. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Feeling extremely depressed right now, numb, numb and oh ya numb. Gotta put on a happy smiley face tomorrow for half the day, but I feel really really low. Getting pains in the head, and my brain is failing me lately, typing slowly cause my typing is fucked up...cant read a sentence from beginning to end without having to read it 3 times, no drinking or drugs, just a lot of mental pain becoming physical. I cant relax these days, even when im doing nothing im not relaxed. Always tense and miserable. I day dream about what it would be like to live a normal life, to share the same interests that other people have, more and more lately I feel detached from everyone - friends, strangers...humanity itself.

    I know ill never have anything approaching "a life". To be able to share my thoughts, feelings and love with anyone special, or even really close friends. Whether you believe that or not, thats how I truly feel. Ive meet some wonderful people through this site but its so, so hollow, talking through glass, to not see people in the flesh, to not see them face to face, share a smile, share a laugh, maybe share something more. I hate the internet, the whole promise of making peoples live better is a fiction, a mirage, some sort of false god the techies worship as the greatest invention since fire....its bullshit. Its just one gigantic waste of time...

    I dunno, im fed up with the struggle, fed up with hoping against hope.

    I need a lifeline, to cling to something worth living for.

    Matt - Down and almost out.
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member


    I'm sorry I wasn't there last night to talk to you, I fucked upt here with the drugs. I want you to know that I love you dearly, you and I are so much alike in so many aspects.

    Do you think that the physical health problems could be b/c you stopped drinking after drinking so heavily for so long? I don't know what could be causing it but if it does continue matt, you will have to get it checked out.

    Please matt, if you need to talk, even if it's just to scream, vent, yell, or even cry(which i know is reaching) please come talk to me on MSN. I will always be there to talk. :hug:

  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Know its not much cos yeah we have a continent between us, but always here if you need to talk. I know chatting on msn or skype isnt the same thing as having someone in the room, but it's got me thru some really rough moments. It probably doesn't help that the old network kind of died a death..I miss the times we all chatted and laughed together, but things change and people move on; but some of us are still here and listening. :hug:
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I'm still here too, Matt. I know we don't talk near as much, but i'll always be here for you no matter what. Please try and hang in there, alot of us are still here, we've just kinda lost eachother sadly. I wish we'd all get close again like we were, I miss my old friends... Please try and stay safe dear. :hug:
  5. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    mmm what is your problem buddy