Family advice! Please help

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Europa, May 16, 2013.

  1. Europa

    Europa New Member

    Hi everyone

    My parents have been divorced for about eight years now. My mom has a new partner who she's been with for around seven years. My Mom and her partner have decided never to get engaged/married but even so, I know they love each other and will be together for the rest of their lives. They live together and my moms partner is like my unofficial step dad :untroubled:

    My Dad, on the other hand seems unable to settle down....

    My Dad met his first girlfriend before my parents were actually divorced. I never met her, however, one morning I found her smudged, red lipstick on our cream leather sofa along with a gold earring and a clump of blonde hair stuck in a cushion zip...I believe my dad left the living room in this state on purpose, to upset my mom :tsk: I cleaned the living room before my mom saw it.

    My dads second girlfriend (and her three kids) moved in with my dad within a matter of weeks after meeting each other. My Dad's girlfriend seemed alight but I was pretty gutted to come home from school one day to find one of her kids had moved into my bedroom. :sorrow: I found a box filled with my stuff on the landing and was asked to live with my mom. This girlfriend didn't last too long and when my dad broke up with her she was furious!

    My dads third girlfriend was really nice. She met my grandparents and became a real member of the family. We got each other birthday and Christmas presents and we went out for meals. I excepted her as part of my family and kind of considered her to be a "step mom". My dad broke up with her a few weeks ago...

    My Dad has met another new girl. I haven't met her yet but I've seen a few photos of her...She looks like a hooker. I was invited to go to a meal with her and my dad on Sunday, I told them I was busy. My dad has now text me asking if he and her can come and visit tomorrow...I really don't want to see them.

    The truth is, I'm sick of meeting my dads girlfriends. He never takes his relationships seriously and I don't want to get involved. I've accepted his past girlfriends into my life and considered them family, the next thing I know, they're gone and I'll never see them again...It's really hard to keep losing people from your life like that :frown:

    How can I get out of seeing my dads new girlfriend?
    Should I go and meet her?
    What should I say to my dad?
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Why not meet them, so as not to upset your dad, but don't embrace them with any more long term feeling or acceptance than you would any other friend he might have. For instance, if you went to his house to visit and one of his work buddies was over hanging out, he'd introduce you and you'd make polite small talk with them to be friendly... but you would not open them into your life or your heart. Treat his girlfriends in the same way. Certainly don't be rude or uncaring, but consider them nothing more that acquaintances who come and go.
  3. Europa

    Europa New Member

    You're right. I'm just annoyed because my dad's only just met this girl...He hasn't even told me her name and he already wants me to meet her! I don't feel there's any need for me to meet the people he casually dates, I wish he only introduced me to people he's serious about.

    I know I must sound silly but it's really hard to not embrace them with long term acceptance when you spend Christmas/birthdays and family meals/outings with them :upset: My grandma even has a photo of my dad with his last girlfriend still hanging on her wall