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Family Gatherings....i hate them

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~PinkElephants~, May 28, 2007.

  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I hate having huge family parties. I know I am the black sheep of the family. I feel like a shallow empty waste when they come here. I feel like I'm nothing to these people, like I'm invisible. My cousin comes over and it's like she always tries to one up me. It's not like I've ever accomplished much in my life, so it's not like she has to try hard but she'll purposely go out of her way to make me feel like I'm worthless."oh guess what i'm graduating school. oh guess what i'm getting married, oh guess what i got a better more rewarding job" Well congrats my dear, I've done none of those and I know that I am a worthless nothing, you don't need to try and rub it in my face. There's nothing that I've accomplished in my life. I dropped out of college, i quit my job, i have no car, and I'm nothing. thank you for reinstating what I already knew about myself.

    Than there's my grandmother who likes to take things and shove them in my face...oh kristyn's doing this now, or beth has a brand new baby..so fuckin' what!!! I am me, I am not them, for once in your life notice ME. Notice me for the mistake that I am..I'm sure she already knows. Everytime family comes over I just want to lock myself in my room and stay there until they all leave. I hate the fact that they are there to confirm what a fuck up I am. It's not hard to do.

    So, I've locked myself away in my room now. I let them make me feel like a piece of shit...so now i can sit in my room and cry. I can sit here and watch my life slip through my fingers, I can look at the blade and wish i had the courage. I wish they could see me for who I was instead of who I pretend to be...i really wish they could see the wounds that they inflict on me..but i just smile and nod and let them break me down.

    I wish i had the courage to disappear forever.....:sad:
  2. Tara

    Tara Guest


    i dont know what to say, just know im here, thinking of you :arms:
  3. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Hun you're not worthless or a fuck up in my eyes. Wish I was there, cos then me and you could be complete dorks and annoy everyone :hug: I love you hun, cos of who you are. Compared to anyone I still think you're the best. Infinity...
  4. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    :sad: Oh, Kells, you're not worthless or any of that.

    You're amazing, and they're just oblivious to the fact, hun.

    Don't ever disappear forever.. you're loved!

    Family gatherings do suck, but it's over soon enough. :hug: You'll get through it. :yes:

    'Til then, you've got support.

    Always here if you need me.
  5. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    We're alike in alot of ways. My parents pressure me all the time to go to these family gatherings. In fact, this morning, on my day off, they wanted to me to play baseball with my cousins and stuff. I cannot play baseball. I look like a total idiot.

    Though mostly, when it comes to family gatherings, it's the same damn people. I don't like the people in my family very much. Half are too happy, others too angry. And somehow I always come out as bad at the end. Sometimes I don't blame them. I get told constantly to 'widen out' or to 'talk to other people'. They think I spend all day on the computer playing games. In reality I only write and listen to music. :dry: Big deal.

    But yeah, i understand where you're coming from. Here to talk.