Family Hates Me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Socialman, Nov 24, 2010.

  1. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    I called my cousin a hypocrite and a meani, and I get hassled for it! REALLY? I try to keep things g-rated, and get hassled for it. Then I get hassled for hiding during parties because I don't want people to see me crying. What the HELL? My family doesn't even want me around anymore. They say I haven't tried enough to change. I take swimming lessons. Try classes. Go to therapy, and they say I'm not trying hard enough? I don't know what to do. I just want someone I can talk to anything about, but is seems I can only trust a professional counselor. I'm just so tired of trying. I haven't done anything the entire week. I just lay in bed all day. I've even tried cutting. I've thought about spending thanksgiving with a game of SIMs. At least then I can pretend I have a family that cares.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sorry your family is not there for you really they don't have a clue do they. Your professional does that is why can care so much. Your family is toxic to you then you need to move away if you can or if you can't make a meeting with your parents with your therapist to get him or her to explain how it is for you. I am glad to see you trying and you keep up the great work okay Youcan be proud of yourself for all your efforts even if they do see it. take care okay keep up the good work
  3. ipod

    ipod Member

    I'm sorry :( i understand though. here for you if you wanna talk
  4. Mary

    Mary Guest

    This kind of thing happens a lot. My son was sharing a similar story with me yesterday. His cousin and a friend were double-teaming him and going to town on how he doesn't do enough... blah, blah, blah.

    The reason people do this type of thing (often - maybe not always) is because they want to 'create' something in the world. Oftentimes, they have little control over their situation, so underneath it all they figure that if they create 'a new you' (by constantly prodding, complaining, and criticizing you) then they would have had an impact on the world.

    They're oftentimes very transparent. I have tried a few methods to get it to stop (or at least lessen). Say to them something like, "Wow, I see you've put a lot of thought into your suggestions. Do you have further points that will help me do a better job?"

    And really give them some time as they belch out all their ideas. Let them get it all out and they'll start to get too tired to continue. Remember, that oftentimes it really isn't that much about you!! It's about their need to make an impact in the world. That's ultimately a good thing - when you badger someone at a family gathering - weeeelll, that's stupid and crappy.

    Cut them some slack - because, bless them - what idiot would go to town on someone during Thanksgiving! If they really have some good pointers on how you can improve - tell them that the gathering isn't a good time and you would like to take it up with them at another time in private.

    If you are messing around with cutting - then you aren't feeling really good about things. I hope you move your emphasis on other people and things that are more helpful to you. No one needs the 'great criticizer' to be in their face at a family gathering. Ultimately - it just shows that the person who just can't control their helpful suggestions are not thinking really clearly.

    Good luck with your situation.