I just had an argument with my mom. It all started this morning, actually, when she said I mistreated my dad by replying him rudely. I did, but it wasn't THAT bad, he didn't even mind it that much. I think he's realised that our relationship is pretty much broken. I don't let him hug me and even less kiss me. A couple of hours later, my mom and dad came to the goddamn hotel where I was left working, and when my dad left she started her nagging. She wanted me to teach her how to use a computer system my dad bought in order to control the employees, but since she had asked me yesterday, and didn't ask me to teach her again today, I forgot. Then, she started to say that I believe that I'm more important than her, that I treat her like a dumbass because she doesn't know how to use computers, and I never told her ANYTHING, she just started mistreating me so I asked her what the fuck. She says that I indulge myself every whim, and I'm sick of it. I've been trying to breed beagles, and now my bitch is in heat, so I contacted the BEST beagle breeder in Brazil, who is a friend of mine, and my mom's been giving me a hard time ever since (Note: we CAN afford the trip to Brazil, it's just next to where we live). On the other hand, my sister, who's 20, "trains" our horses for living. That's all she does. And this is completely valuable in the eyes of my parents, but my attempt to be one of the firsts beagle breeders here is just a hobby and a whim. I'm tired of getting not recognition whatsoever. Nothing I do counts. Not one thing I do is important. I'm good only at spending money. I'm tired of feeling invisible and useless, like my aunts said I was (and apparently my mom agrees). I just want to disappear. I know given what I just wrote it seems stupid and shallow or that I want attention, but it's not just because of this. I'm still sad because my dad chose his *****s over us, and I'm tired of people making fun on me because my family own a hotel by the hour, I'm tired of being known as the fat, lazy-ass girl in the family, I'm tired of having NO ONE to talk to. Not even my family likes me. I don't have the strenght to take my own life. <edit mod total eclipse method> I thought about it several times. I fantasize that one fine day, while walking home from work, <edit mod total eclipse method> just to end the existence of this sad excuse of a person.