Family problems.. :/

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Avarice, Nov 19, 2010.

  1. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Just want to vent a bit, feel free to ignore me. Basically, I've wanted a dog since I was about four years old. They've always fascinated me and somehow never fail to make me really, deliriously happy whenever I encounter one. Over the years my mum's promised me a dog tons of times, if I do this or that for her, but such promises were always broken. Anyway, so finally I find a little puppy I've really fallen in love with and have taken all the steps to reserve it, save my money for it, buy the things it needs etc., and we're going to pick it up next weekend. No problem so far. But it's the people around me that are seriously making what should be one of the best experiences of my life (for me, anyway) a complete annoyance. My mum hates dogs, my Dad loves dogs but doesn't believe they should live in flats (which we live in), my brother doesn't believe we have the room for a dog what with all of our cats, and everyone else generally thinks I'll get bored of it after a while. Sounds like a problem, right? Except it's not. Everyone else has completely gone the other way -- after 16 years of putting up with their shit, stopping me from getting the dog I've always wanted, ignored my pleas, lectured me about it over and over, they all actually WANT this dog, and although that doesn't sound like a problem, it's REALLY pissing me off.

    They don't just want him, they're basically trying to take over. I can't really explain it very well, but they're all trying to muscle in. After years of their lectures and crap they suddenly think that they can accept a dog into the family and let me foot the bill. I'll be the one paying for him, buying his food, training him, cleaning up his crap, but they're all happy as larry and want to reap the benefits of him being around. For example, my mum refuses to walk him, feed or pay towards him, but is more than happy to brag around to her friends the fact that "WE" (operative word here) are getting a dog and expects loads of cuddles and love with the dog, not to mention telling people "Oh you'll HAVE to come and see him".. this is the woman who hates dogs and has broken several promises of allowing me to have a dog before. Another example, my brother.. again, not going to pay anything towards him, not going to help care for, walk, clean up after him, but he wants the puppy to sleep in his room at night. You think, do you? I don't want everyone else crowding around him, being all "awwww~" over him when it was THEY who stopped me from doing this sooner with their goddamn cynical bullshit. Not to mention I intend to start training him the second he arrives (puppy mats, learn his name, etc) and it says in my dog training book very clearly, "Do not make the mistake of inviting people over to see the puppy straight away" because he needs to get to know his family first. But hey, who listens? Who gives a shit what the person paying for it all wants?

    Basically, my family have been nothing but huge obstacles for the past God knows how many years when it's come to my wanting a dog, but suddenly now I'm actually getting one for real, they're more than happy to just sit back and take the rewards without putting any help into it. Not only that, but my brothers girlfriend comes round, bragging about how she's got pictures of the puppy on her phone and arranging to be here the exact weekend we get him. I just want to shout "PISS OFF" in all of their faces. He's supposed to be MY dog. I'm not being selfish.. I just want them to realise that this has been MY dream for 16 goddamn years, and they're just taking over and turning it all into shit. He's not going to be my dog. He'll be OUR dog. Yet who will be paying the money? Yeah. :/ I feel like crying I'm so goddamn frustrated.

    I know I should be thankful I'm even getting a dog at all after all this time (although hey, come on, I'm almost 21 now), but it was never meant to be like this.. I feel like not getting him at all anymore. I hate that they're ruining this for me.

    Rant over. x__x
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    When people focus on how they think things should work out, they're going to have a very rough time.

    My concern right now is that the new dog is not going to see things anyones way at all and will love everyone there. This could bring up resentment in you.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    :hug:
     
  3. Escapist

    Escapist Well-Known Member

    Correct me if i'm wrong though, but it seems that you're allowing them to walk over you. You've wanted a doggy for all those years and now that you're getting one finally, you should stand up for it and tell them to back off. Your family is unwilling to help you out with the plethora of tasks that you have to do. They don't have the right to take away your doggy and use it for their own selfish desires.

    Is there a way that they'll somehow listen to you, with the help of your sister perhaps? You didn't mention her. Perhaps she understands your point, and since you'll be picking up the doggy together, you've got the oppurtunity to discuss the matter.

    If they want some time with the doggy they should work for it, and only when it doesn't interfere with it's training and schedule. Since you contributed the most, you're the one in charge not them.

    I hope things turn out the way you want them to. Know though that some things require a bit of effort in order to be achieved. :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2010
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    its al gone wrong. 100% WRONG. we got him hgome today after 9 hour car journeys to get him and abck and i dont want him. he scares me, he wont stop following me, barking at me, trying to cuddle me and i hate it. i want him gone and i feel like crying i just want my cats i dont want him anymore but how can i say that? my family already love him i already spend hundreds of pounds on him. i feel like killing myself even more since hes got here but it was supposed to make me feel ebtter >_< wtf do i do?

    edit: he keeps trying to jump on my bed and i just want him away from me as far as possible. idk if its because im tired or what but i just want him far faaarr away from me it scares me that he might bite me or lunge at me hes so small he might have that napolian thing they say small dogs have >_< im in the room with him and he wont stop BARKING at me ffs he wont even settle with my mum or brother he wants ME. i guess be careful what you wish for x__x
     
  5. Escapist

    Escapist Well-Known Member

    Hey hey. You just got the doggy, give it a bit of time? So you can get used to him. Puppies tend to follow their owner around, since they are full of energy and are curious little creatures. Give him a chance, you brought him in and I think that's the least he deserves? The doggy needs to get used to it's enviroment aswell, it's all new for him too. While i'm not sure if you intend to keep him, I think you atleast should give it some time. Just because things don't feel right or good immediately doesn't mean there's no hope for the two of you.

    Puppys don't bite hard or at all, yes they lunge but only because of they're full of energy. Right now, it's probably tough and not fun at all since you have to look after him and clean his mess up, give him attention as if it's a little baby.
     
  6. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    but he just wont stop. at all. i want a time out, to do MY things.. but i have to watch him 24/7 literally to make sure he doesnt poop in the wrong place or hurt the cats. im tired and just want a break from him for five fucking minutes. i look at him and just want him to disappear. the only way i can really explain it.. is likening it to people who have a baby and then get post-natal-depression. obviously ive never had that so cant say its exactyl like that, but its how it feels to me - i've got him here and i just want to be as far away from him as possible. i feel nothing for him. i just want him to be quiet and leave me alone for good. its not fair on him either because he deserves an owner that will play with him and love him and i cant offer him that, as much as i wish i could. maybe its partly my depression or idk.. but i have zero energy for him, zero enthusiasm or motivation to train him or do anything for him. i feel knackerd 24/7 and just want to relax and wind down. im giiving him until next monday for things to improve or else i will just need to find him a new home. sucks the snow is here all of a sudden so might make it hard to get someone to take him off our hands :/