I hate weddings. I am being pressured to attend my niece's I do NOT want to go. I have very little family and know I will be completely disowned if I don't go. I am all alone as it is. It's less than two months away and I am overwhelmed. The cost ( clothes to wear and gift) is really a hardship. I only have a few items of clothing and they're not suitable for anything more than going to a movie. I hate myself. I hate weddings. I do not want to go. Either way, I'm screwed. My only absolute way out is to die beforehand.
Family wedding
- Thread starter Leesa
- Start date
It might help to explain in advance to your family that you won't be able to afford special clothes. Then they can either accept that, or help you financially.
Usually there's a wedding, followed by a reception. You might be able to get away with just making an appearance at part of one or both. Like maybe even show up late to the wedding, congratulate the bride and groom, and then leave. It might be enough.
I'm not sure if you can work out ahead of time how much actual face time you'll be expected to have, but that might be enough.
Hopefully there's some sort of balance where you won't be disowned but you also won't be putting much stress on yourself.
Usually there's a wedding, followed by a reception. You might be able to get away with just making an appearance at part of one or both. Like maybe even show up late to the wedding, congratulate the bride and groom, and then leave. It might be enough.
I'm not sure if you can work out ahead of time how much actual face time you'll be expected to have, but that might be enough.
Hopefully there's some sort of balance where you won't be disowned but you also won't be putting much stress on yourself.
I believe it. I hate when my brain decides to go into overdrive.
Ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you. A gift isn’t why they want you there.
if you decide you will go (if like me) you’ll need to practice quieting the noise in your head. Have you done any dbt?
I am sorry you are struggling.
it’s ok to take care of you.
Ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you. A gift isn’t why they want you there.
if you decide you will go (if like me) you’ll need to practice quieting the noise in your head. Have you done any dbt?
I am sorry you are struggling.
it’s ok to take care of you.
I'm working right now and my aunt calls me and yells at me because my brother told her I wasn't going. I did NOT say that. I have a text from almost two weeks ago where I told him I was able to get the day off, unless work changed something, but I don't believe they will. Just to be clear that although I don't want to go, I NEVER told him that. People are yelling at me and I didn't do anything. It just makes it harder.
Turn it around. Tell them you would come - but you have no transport, no money for transport and no money for appropriate clothing and gifts. So they can pick you up and buy you new stuff. You really think they will do this? You said - you are alone, and you like it like that. So, whats to worry about. Its a clear decision. Me too, I like being alone,
I saw my niece yesterday for about 10 minutes. She had her bridal shower and I was unable to attend. It's ok because I would have felt overwhelmed. But I looked at her and was so sad that I had tears streaming down my face. I haven't spent one on one time with her since I took her trick or treating when she was 12. She will be 25 this month. Everyone is clueless as to how much I have been excluded and she just looked at me and seemed to suddenly recognize that I was in pain. (I'm not mad.)
I am so sad that I cannot live up to the standards of my own family. I don't have clothes to wear to the wedding. I can't afford anything. They're spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding and honeymoon and their new life is set to start. I never had a start. I've always struggled. I don't know what it's like to be loved and have a future. I don't mean marriage necessarily. I just have one struggle after another. I hate to use the phrase it's not fair, but it isn't. I want to wish her well but don't think I can handle the wedding.
I am so sad that I cannot live up to the standards of my own family. I don't have clothes to wear to the wedding. I can't afford anything. They're spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding and honeymoon and their new life is set to start. I never had a start. I've always struggled. I don't know what it's like to be loved and have a future. I don't mean marriage necessarily. I just have one struggle after another. I hate to use the phrase it's not fair, but it isn't. I want to wish her well but don't think I can handle the wedding.