Family.. (whats wrong with me?)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Kris.T, Nov 15, 2009.

  1. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    I assumed this is where to put this? I dunno. And I'll apologize now for spelling and that, typing on my phone.

    Okay, so my night tonight was a family bbq. Even both parents, which is weird after the divorce. What I dont understand, why was I the only one who felt shit all night? Like, they were all having beers, eating, laughing, enjoying the night.
    Me? I was sitting there, wishing I was anywhere but there. I just didnt want to be around my family, which i dont understand.. I love my family.

    I wanted to just curl up and cry the night away... But i faked a smile, acted all happy infront of them, now im laying with my head on a soaked pillow... And i just dont get it..
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I'm fairly similar. Mind you my parents haven't divorced but I always feel very detached from them...I practically hold any emotions I have in me inside. Maybe it's the depression, apparently you tend to push away from loved ones and the like. Then again, not like the Anxiety of nearly anything personal helps :(.
  3. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Yeah I have a broken relationship with my parents too. I also keep everything inside. It's very damaging and destructive. Hang in there, nice poetry, and you have my support.
  4. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Its not a reflection on your family, i think you said you wer close with your family in your post. I get like this and i adore my family. If we have a big get together, i usually pass myself for the first hour and for the rest of the night you will find me crying in my room. I dont know what it is, but i understand what your saying. Unworthiness cause you think everyone else around you is happy?? I dont know. It not like I dont fit in because they are my family and they love me and I do have a good time with them. Sorry i dont have the answer but i know what it feels like :)
  5. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    Maybe you just had an off night.
  6. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    I wish it was just an off night. It happens everytime we're all together.

    .. i just don't understand why.
  7. ilovedilostwhatnow

    ilovedilostwhatnow Active Member

    i know exactly how your feeling i just dont wanna be around them at all i hate it its like their happiness is suffacting me but i fake it i fake everything so they will never know