" In these coming years, Many things will change, But the way I feel, Will remain the same."
Sometimes I sit here, and I think to myself, why am I here? Why am I still trying? Who am I trying for?
I feel like my symptoms are getting worse, can that even happen in a mental illness? In BPD?
I hurt the ones I love. The mess I will become will leave something to talk about for years to come.
Why try.
Why fight.
No more.
the topic title, too young to die, really strikes a cord with me.
i'm in much the same boat. i'm not even halfway through life, and i feel like everything's over all ready.
i could ask the same question, what have i got. who am i fighting for
well, the only thing i really have now is my music. i have my radio close to me, and can listen to that when ever (what ever music i want), and these forums.
i deffenetly don't have any real life friends, my family don't care if i exist or not, my mental state is to the point where i can't hold anything down for what, a day or so, and when it comes to physical, i now have no indipendence- none at all.
and people say to me... well you've got no reason to want to kill yourself
the saddest thing of all though, is not having a list of things i want to do (i know that may seem little), but when someone asks me what do you want to do in the future, my answer is, well, nothing. i want to die. that's my answer.
that just about says it all. in this big wide world of oppotunities and experiences, their is nothing that apeals to me at all.
not even if tomorrow came and i was free from illness. 1 of these people who knows what she wants now