Farewell is hard...

#1
I've just found out that the woman I love doesn't love me. Even worse, I've found out that she has never loved me - so there is no chance that things will ever work out.

This is a place I've been in so many times in my life. I know, intellectually, that I am not a worthless piece of shit, but that's how it always works out. Obviously, I don't know what I do wrong, or why I'm not good enough for anyone, but I wish I did. Then I could do something about it. I guess that proves that there's nothing I can do about it - so I'm looking for an exit. I can't keep doing this to people, and I can't endure this pain any longer.
 
#2
Sounds like they're doing it to you rather than you doing it to them. Yes you're in pain, and I'm guessing that comes from you caring as much about the people that you love that you would never do something like this to them, so when they do it to you it takes you off guard and really takes a toll.

The fact that you are this way tells me there are lots of people who would miss you if you were no longer around. Even this person who you are hurting over doesn't sound like she dislikes you, just doesn't have the feelings for you that are needed to make a relationship work.

I know it's a cliché but time will dampen these feelings, the help of a professional can also be invaluable when you're feeling like this, have you sort any of that type of help?

You do deserve to have a life you can enjoy, and hopefully with some support it's not too far away.

Take care
 
#3
Were the two of you in a relationship? Or was it just a friendship? It can be tough, excruciating rather, when we have feelings for people that aren't reciprocated. And it doesn't even have to be romantic feelings, it can be with family, friends, ect. But what a gift you have to offer! Your heart is a precious thing, your love is valuable. But sometimes we choose to share these gifts with the wrong people. We may enjoy their company, but it doesn't mean their meant to be lifelong spouses. It sounds like you're ready to share your life with someone. It may take time to encounter the person who was created for you. Think of it this way, your spouse will respect you as the leader of the family. If someone isn't respecting you now, don't expect them to change after you're married. I've chosen to be single, I know what you're going through. I've experience the full spectrum of singlehood emotions. But I've learned to be confident and patient during my current season. I've grown as an individual to the point where I will not settle for anything less than a man who is confident of his position and who he is as an individual. Honestly, confidence is attractive. Don't give up hope. If anything, I encourage you to speak with someone you trust, or even a counselor for that matter, to help walk alongside you on this journey.
 
#4
Were the two of you in a relationship? Or was it just a friendship? It can be tough, excruciating rather, when we have feelings for people that aren't reciprocated. And it doesn't even have to be romantic feelings, it can be with family, friends, ect. But what a gift you have to offer! Your heart is a precious thing, your love is valuable. But sometimes we choose to share these gifts with the wrong people. We may enjoy their company, but it doesn't mean their meant to be lifelong spouses. It sounds like you're ready to share your life with someone. It may take time to encounter the person who was created for you. Think of it this way, your spouse will respect you as the leader of the family. If someone isn't respecting you now, don't expect them to change after you're married. I've chosen to be single, I know what you're going through. I've experience the full spectrum of singlehood emotions. But I've learned to be confident and patient during my current season. I've grown as an individual to the point where I will not settle for anything less than a man who is confident of his position and who he is as an individual. Honestly, confidence is attractive. Don't give up hope. If anything, I encourage you to speak with someone you trust, or even a counselor for that matter, to help walk alongside you on this journey.
Thank you so much. That is one of the most helpful things that anyone has told me.
 

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