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Fat (Comments Okay)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cat383, Oct 1, 2016.

  1. cat383

    cat383 Member

    I was doing so well.

    I was finally able to look in the mirror at myself and not turn away in disgust. I was starting to care about, well, caring about myself. I wanted to take showers, get my hair out of knots, and start getting back into a real routine outside of work, sleep, eat, buy a book or two, work...

    And then my friend wanted to have a "hard conversation". Her latest boyfriend didn't like that I call myself fat. I've always taken to using the word "fat" because there are no lies in it. There's no attempt made to pretend you're something you're not. Fat isn't this terrible horrible word, it just means that you have adipose tissue, more of it than average. Fat was an armor I could wear because everyone else is so very afraid of it. The very word strikes terror into the heart of the world.

    He didn't like that I called myself fat. So now, "we need to talk about your weight". She didn't need to talk about my weight when we were just hanging out. She didn't need to talk about my weight when we were out shopping. But now that her toothless f*cking boyfriend was uncomfortable with me using my preferred verbiage, now, this is a conversation we *need* to have.

    I had stopped looking at myself as this disgusting shell of a person, it had taken years for me to get this far that I felt like I even deserved all the love I have in my life. And then, "we need to talk about your weight."

    That was NOT a discussion for her to start. That was NOT a discussion that you start. You let the fat person come to you. You let them come and talk about their health if they have a real concern. It's not something you bring up because your Duck Dynasty beard-bearing toothless boyfriend is uncomfortable with how your friend addresses themselves. Even the phrase I used wasn't all that offensive... I got out of a very deep chair and said, "I'm getting too fat for this sh*t." I was riffing on Lethal Weapon.

    So now, I'm scared to go look in the mirror because all of that progress washed away. All of that starting to find myself to be a tolerable person to be around, starting to be comfortable in my very padded skin, all gone. Dismantled by one actually pretty insensitive conversation. I'm so scared that I'll never get back to where I was. It's all I can think about. And now, I'm too scared to go out to even take care of it. If my own friend feels it necessary to discuss my weight as though it's a topic that's up for public discussion, what are strangers going to do?
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Please speak to others in the forum on the chart rom. We all suffer in one way or another with our issues but we support each other. Please keep posting here as we care. We don't judge on loos but help others to realise what counts is care and compassion.
  3. Hiraeth

    Hiraeth Member

    First of all, I'd like to compliment your kitten-face and show you my own kitten-face, her name is Luna and I love her very much.

    I'm happy to know you have found us and would love to talk to you more.
    I respect you for confidently wearing your qualities as armor to protect them and yourself from the cruelties of the prejudice and ill-mannered ignorants the likes of whom you speak of!
    I know one person similar to you who I would like to introduce you to, she faces the same sorts of issues about her body and self-image.
    I think you two would be able to help each other greatly.

    People will be jealous of your confidence, people will try and take it away from you. It's your inner strength and trust in yourself that will guard you and keep you above them.
    Don't let the insensitivity of others bring you down! If you are interested in helping someone, or at the very least talking to someone, who is facing similar problems, don't hesitate to PM me.
    You can contact me by going to your Inbox and replying to my message.

    Welcome to SF. This place has become my haven for when I'm feeling down. I do hope you stay.
    Thank you for taking the time to read my message

    - Hiraeth
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum, I truly hope you benefit from using this website. Keep letting it all out here, your voice is being heard. I wish you the best of luck and please try to love yourself as you are, (hugs)
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Fat is fat like you said a mass of adipose tissue. Its an adjective to
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Damn the phone button for posting!

    Just don't worry or dwell on it. The only thing you can work on within is being at peace with who you are. If he is uncomfortable maybe you can discuss with him on how uncomfortable his looks are and see how he realizes what a silly thing to be uncomfortable about.