fat

[rivendaen]

I'm new here and I am suffering from manic depression and the feeling that I am too fat. I think Im too fat. I binge and purge almost everyday. Im happiest when im starving myself. I can't say it's my first attempt at losing weight. I have tried everything. I joined a gym for months, they said I'd lose 20 LBS by Xmas but I didn't. and I went nearly everyday. I exercise everyday, compulsively. I try to cut down on what i eat. But I feel so fat all the time, especially when i am the only one in my (immediate) family of 26 that is over a size 28. It makes me feel low about myself and gross. I feel so gross about myself. I know I'm not fat, but I just hate looking at myself . My body disgusts me, I feel so awful. I don't fit into any clothes and the pants that fit me last summer, don't fit me now and it makes me mad adn sad and angry. I'm satisfied that i have found a place to talk about it, but I still feel gross and fat. My hips are a 38 and my waist is a 33-34. It's gross. I look so awful I wish I could fit into my old clothes. It makes me want to slit my wrists (though that won't do any good, Ill just leave and ugly fat corpse)

 

[Hey]

There's no point in comparing yourself to other people. Everyone has an entirely different agenda. Figure out how you want yourself to be and then set goals.

 

[SirenDevil]

Im really sorry. I understand what you mean about always feeling fat. Im sorry that other plans of weight loss havent worked for you. I hope things get better, and feel free to pm me if you need to talk more.