I'm new here and I am suffering from manic depression and the feeling that I am too fat. I think Im too fat. I binge and purge almost everyday. Im happiest when im starving myself. I can't say it's my first attempt at losing weight. I have tried everything. I joined a gym for months, they said I'd lose 20 LBS by Xmas but I didn't. and I went nearly everyday. I exercise everyday, compulsively. I try to cut down on what i eat. But I feel so fat all the time, especially when i am the only one in my (immediate) family of 26 that is over a size 28. It makes me feel low about myself and gross. I feel so gross about myself. I know I'm not fat, but I just hate looking at myself . My body disgusts me, I feel so awful. I don't fit into any clothes and the pants that fit me last summer, don't fit me now and it makes me mad adn sad and angry. I'm satisfied that i have found a place to talk about it, but I still feel gross and fat. My hips are a 38 and my waist is a 33-34. It's gross. I look so awful I wish I could fit into my old clothes. It makes me want to slit my wrists (though that won't do any good, Ill just leave and ugly fat corpse)
There's no point in comparing yourself to other people. Everyone has an entirely different agenda. Figure out how you want yourself to be and then set goals.
Im really sorry. I understand what you mean about always feeling fat. Im sorry that other plans of weight loss havent worked for you. I hope things get better, and feel free to pm me if you need to talk more.
