Yes, after years of beliveing,struggling and stumbling I have finally reached a point to where my strength falters. Experiencing difficulties of anxiety and hopelessness, but I've tried to embrace them,to no avail. It is going to end, sooner or later I know it, it's just a matter of time. In my dreams I fall in love with death, and that's all that soothes me, all that I can hope for and trust in. Death, something that seems to be calling me with an immense force from somewhere I don't know. A pain that throbs in my chest which consumes me and my whole person. It doesn't matter who I am or was anymore because I know I won't become anything better. That's what these years keep telling me over and over again mercilessly.