Father attempted suicde..help.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by stephanie10, Sep 10, 2010.

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  1. stephanie10

    stephanie10 New Member

    My dad just attempted suicide a couple days ago. He is in a rehabilitation center right now but I feel so guilty like I could have done something to prevent this. He is also always in pain with something I'd rather not say and said he just wanted to sleep forever. He even wrote a suicide note. He acts like he is ok but then will cry. I don't know what to do.. I am moving in with him but I can't always be around and I''m 'scared...
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    you need to show him you need him here hun. go see him, and tell him you want to help. Ask him what type of help he is or is planning on getting. ask the staff there what kinds of information you can get about having someone in your life that is suicidal or suffers depression. read what you can so you know what to expect with your dad's illness. i dont know how old you are but you are never too young to show someone you care about them. adn if your dad is suffering depression or suicidal thoughts, he needs to know someone loves him right now. especially his own kid and family. go see him hun. and keep posting here so others can help you through your own fears about this. it is terifying to see your parent not being able to be the "parent" all the time. but if you talk to him i think it will help both of you.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOur dad needs professional help to get him throught this depression i hope he gets it Needs medicine to get rid of depression need therapy psychologist to get to the root of the sadness pain and to give him coping skills to deal with pain. You can only be there to show him you love him and that you need him here with you and that he needs to do whatever possible to keep him here.
    Be at his side yes and demand professionals give him the help he deserves and will need to get him strong again okay. You can't be his healer but you can be his daughter who shows him she needs him to stay.
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry Stephanie..this must be a shock for you....
    the others are right ..showing him you love him and care is all you can do and he does need proffessional help .....
    what a lovely daughter you are to move in to help him....take care
     
  5. stephanie10

    stephanie10 New Member

    Thank you all for your encouraging words. He has a therapist and a psychiatrist and is on anti-depressants. I was in the hospital with him for hours on Tuesday/wedneday Left at 4 in the AM and hes had several visitors. I don't know how he can be happy. Being in the rehab center seems to make him feel even more depressed. The day he attempted suicide he seemed ok. He even added funny posts on his facebook. I didn't know anything was wrong until my brother and I both got the same text, "love you forever". and the responses to my texts seemed so final, like instead of "I don't need help anymore" he'd write " I WON'T need help anymore". The cops were there when my brother got there, he had told his therapist he was going to commit sucide via text who called 911 right after. Does this mean he didn't really want to die? Did he want us to figure it out and save him? He would have just kept quiet an done it right?
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    anyone who says they're gonna commit suicide should be taken very seriously..
    I have read so many stories of people 'saying goodbye' and then going through with it ..
    others just quietly slip away...the only one who will know for sure is your Dad...

    In my case my son texted his GF and said goodbye and she didn't answer him...
    if she had he might be here today..I'll never know...

    You are so lucky he did warn people and someone stopped him....
    I hope he will now see he has a reason to live....if only to stop the pain he will leave behind for his loved ones..
     
  7. stephanie10

    stephanie10 New Member

    Yes I do want to let him know if he left it would affect all our family deeply but I don't want to make him feel guilty, just realized he's loved. . I'm very sorry about your son. My dad text a lot of people who didn't respond possibly because it was late but yes I am very lucky he warned us. .
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    If someone texts that they're suicidal, it should always be taken very seriously. I also think that some suicidal people might need to be saved during an attempt, to prove to them that they are loved and worth saving. My advise is to keep showing your dad that he is loved and needed by you and your brother. It's possible that he sees no reason to continue living, thus you have to show him that there is a reason. :hug:
     
  9. stephanie10

    stephanie10 New Member

    Thank you for responding. : )
     
  10. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Forgive me if I sound stringent as I am having a f*cked up day.

    I am going to be firm and say that it is one of the most insulting things to ever say to a suicidal person "It hurts us all.....don't you know that we would all be miserable." Not that those are your words but I was in 2 different psych wards and WE ALL AGREED that statements about how the "family/friends" feel is the last thing we need to hear......when "we" are hurting so bad to the point of killing ourselves.

    Focus on his feelings/thoughts. Allow him to be in that very moment. Let him know that you are there and LEARNING too on how to be there....it is okay for him to reach out when he is able to but if he can't learn the signs of his "relapses." When he is ready and when you are ready, talk about the "attempt" and what lead to it.....get to know and UNDERSTAND his feelings/thoughts.

    Don't make his "being alive" your lifeline and assurance...have your own support to deal with it all. Does he have a pain management program or group therapy....that seems to help the most for chronic pain...group therapy. Post hospitalization is one of the most if not the most vulnerable times for another attempt.

    You're right you cannot always be there and that is the gamble of dealing with depressed/suicidal people. Not everyone is saved, helped etc etc. Sadly things that happend after an attempt is what everyone in the world should be doing anyway.....treating people kindly, listening, nurturing, helping etc etc.
     
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