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Father wants me to suicide i think.

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by whynot, Mar 18, 2007.

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  1. whynot

    whynot Active Member

    I'm 25 years old and recently moved back with my father after living on my own from the age of 17 onward.

    Some background, my father kicked me out of the house when I was 17. Said the most fucked up things you could imagine to me and I had to move into a halfway house for teenagers. I was caught smoking marijuana with a girl at the halfway house and they kicked me out. I was unable to finish my senior year of highschool because I didn't have a place to live... after going on my own from age 17-19 (lived with a girlfriend for a time, lived with random strangers sleeping on floors...) my father let me move back in with him. I had worked for 1 year then began to experience medical issues, was hospitalized etc and was eventually placed on SSI because my father forced me into homelessness rather than help his still teenage son...(he was financially well off as well, he actually sold his million dollar home and bought a new home with his wife while I was in the hospital) after I was placed on SSI and with my general apathy for life (I don't know why I hadn't just killed myself sooner. I've gone 6 years in total hopelessness with all the reasons to end my life and I feel only worse now) I lived like a hermit in extreme sickness and poverty (I was vomiting after most meals because of my diseased gall bladder) until I was 24 and discovered this was the cause of my extreme sickness and erratic behavior. I moved back in with him after I had my surgery.

    Anyways he's been giving me full bottles of pain killers now and he knows that I have problems with addiction. I had a leather strap that I had prepared in the area I have decided to kill myself at and I noticed that he had wrapped it in a noose. My father is an extreme sociopath that has only devastated my shitty meaningless life so I've thought he should die before I go out. He has a son with his (ex)wife as well.
  2. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    As I said in your earlier posts - Ignore him. Sometimes family is an unecessary burden. In your case, it's a very negative influence. Remember, you are your own person...Do what seems right to you! (And please refrain from doing anything dangerous to yourself.) I know it's difficult, as he is, after all family...There is no denying that what he says impacts you greatly.

    PM if you want to talk...I've have several nasty family issues myself.
  3. Tell you what, if I were you I would move out and find my way and cut the ties with him. Any parent who dosent give a damn about their kid deserve nothing in their life.. We didnt asked to be born and the least they should do is help us suceed in any way that we can. My father and I dont get along that's why I'm so strong in this issue, he's told me that I was nothing and how I wasnt going to be anything in life and I cut ties with him almost immediately. Hey PM if you want I probably can relate to you too
  4. whynot

    whynot Active Member

    The thing is I'm kind of trapped in this situation. I'm on SSI, for all the govt knows I am mentally retarded or severely disabled, I really have no idea, but my father was the one for force me into this life after I was hospitalized. I would really like to get out of this situation but I really have no idea where to begin. Housing is really expensive in this are and I have health issues, as well as social anxiety, which kind of limit the work I can take. I'm going to look for some work through the local temp agencies but I don't even have a car (I'm just borrowing my dads car for the time being) nor I doubt I could even afford a decent car with the amount of money I get. I'm probably in as deep a whole as anyone could be on these forums and I really don't know how to get out.

    One thing I notice is that my father places my water bottles in certain areas. I've smelled the inside of the bottles after he places them and they smell like chemicals. Do you think I should take one of these water bottles to the local police station and ask them to test it? I actually confronted my father one day and his reaction to my accusations seemed like he was faking it. He is a crazy guy himself though he takes his craziness out on other people rather than internalizing it like me.

  5. Wow I would bring those to station and get them tested, youre gonna want to know for sure right.
  6. downmage

    downmage Well-Known Member

    No doubt mate, get em tested!
  7. SeemsPerfect

    SeemsPerfect Guest

    You may want to keep your water bottle w/ you considering the situation. Of course, I know this isn't always feasible. The only other suggestion may appear kinda paranoid. But, hey, if it would make you feel even a little more comfortable it may be worth considering:

    Place 2 extremely small marks on your water bottle (1-on the cap, 1- on the bottle). Match them up when you close the bottle. When you come back to it, ensure those markings (ONLY YOU KNOW ARE THERE) are exactly where they should be.
  8. ive had simlar problems but not so extreme. my dads a bitch and a half and hes been telling me that i was adopted for bout 5 months. we kicked him out. my mums been real good to me. but nuf bout me.you should try to focus on some other project so dat you can take ur mind of this bitch of a dad. might help
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