This isn't a rant at mine, cos I'm one of the lucky ones when it comes to dads. I'm not exactly sure what this is about, just need to vent.
There are so many absent fathers out there it makes me mad. Guys who knock some girl up and then just leave them to it, or run away as soon as it gets tough, or don't bother to see their kids after the relationship with the mother ends. I long to be a father with every fibre of my being. I can't have kids that are biologically mine, but even that doesn't matter much to me. The supply of sperm doesn't make a father, being there for your child and protecting them and providing for them does. And I want to do that so bad. I want to hold my baby and sing them to sleep and get up in the middle of the night when they cry and drive them to school and teach them to read and stick a plaster on their knee when they fall over, and even clash with them over things and worry about whether they're on drugs and disapprove of their bf/gf. I want to love and be proud of my kids no matter what. Of course it's better to be two parents together, but splitting up with the mother or never having been with her in the first place doesn't negate the fact that you've bought a life into this world and you need to take some bloody responsbility. I know there are circumstances where parents can't see their children and I'm honestly sorry if anyone feels that I'm having a go at them. I'm more ranting at fate, that keeps me from being the good parent that I know I could be, yet allows so many men to be given this gift that I would do anything for. I know I'm only young and I may get the chance to have kids, but I already did have that chance. And I can't help but wonder, if I'd looked after his mother better, if I'd just gone and got her and stuffed the consequences, would my son be alive today? Maybe that was my only chance, and I was judged to be unworthy.
There are so many absent fathers out there it makes me mad. Guys who knock some girl up and then just leave them to it, or run away as soon as it gets tough, or don't bother to see their kids after the relationship with the mother ends. I long to be a father with every fibre of my being. I can't have kids that are biologically mine, but even that doesn't matter much to me. The supply of sperm doesn't make a father, being there for your child and protecting them and providing for them does. And I want to do that so bad. I want to hold my baby and sing them to sleep and get up in the middle of the night when they cry and drive them to school and teach them to read and stick a plaster on their knee when they fall over, and even clash with them over things and worry about whether they're on drugs and disapprove of their bf/gf. I want to love and be proud of my kids no matter what. Of course it's better to be two parents together, but splitting up with the mother or never having been with her in the first place doesn't negate the fact that you've bought a life into this world and you need to take some bloody responsbility. I know there are circumstances where parents can't see their children and I'm honestly sorry if anyone feels that I'm having a go at them. I'm more ranting at fate, that keeps me from being the good parent that I know I could be, yet allows so many men to be given this gift that I would do anything for. I know I'm only young and I may get the chance to have kids, but I already did have that chance. And I can't help but wonder, if I'd looked after his mother better, if I'd just gone and got her and stuffed the consequences, would my son be alive today? Maybe that was my only chance, and I was judged to be unworthy.