I have noticed since I last tried to end everything a week or so ago (it didn't work - I ended up being sick and then passing out in bed in exhaustion and waking up 16hours later) I have only been buying enough shopping for 1 or 2 days at a time. I am so sick of my existence. I feel as though I have nothing to live for. It has gotton on top of me so much today. I went shopping today. I brought some Lindt Chocolate, fish for dinner with new potatos and salad and some wine. On top of that enough pills to end it all. I plan on taking them later. I hope I have the cocktail just right.