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Fear and anxiousness

Every time anything good happens to me something stupid always has to make me anxious all the time to the point I constant feel sick on top of constantly thinking about death anyway wouldn’t it just be easier if I were dead? I wouldn’t fear it anymore and I’d never have a problem ever again
I think things could really get lot better if you could just get some professional treatment. I know you've been reluctant to talk to gp, take medication, or see a therapist.

I hope you could either overcome those fears, or at least go see an acupuncturist if that would be an easier for you. Acmac.net has list of community-style acupuncture clinics in the UK.

A meditation practice might really help you too.

Trying to kill yourself would be a terrible tragedy if you could simply get better with treatment.
Hi. Welcome to the forums @Mac1066. It sounds like you're suffering with some type of anxiety disorder. I know how much it can suck. Have you been diagnosed with or do you think you have some type of anxiety disorder?

You should consider seeking treatment for your anxiety and your suicidal thoughts. A good place to start is visiting a doctor. This can be a daunting task, but it should pay off. Doctors won't judge. Maybe you could write a letter or make a phone call if this is easier for you. A doctor should be able to help you with therapy and medication options.

Stay safe. I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *brohug.

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