Fear and worry

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by fam6236, Apr 2, 2014.

  1. fam6236

    fam6236 Member

    All those that say money does not bring happiness have a point to some extent. However the thought of running out of money some day has caused so much fear in my life that it has caused severe anxiety to the point where I cannot focus on anything else in my life but money. I am a person with no stable job and a poor work history. I have no pension and by the looks of where social security is heading, I will not have that also. Ever since my daughter was born, the thought of losing it all has been embedded in my mind every second of every day. When I do work I think of nothing but money and that what will be needed for me in my future is so far out of reach. I cannot take it anymore, its like I have been in a depression over this for over a year now. When your young we do not think of the future as much. Now that I am approaching 40 and look back on all my mistakes I have made with such things as not finishing college and living an irresponsible lifestyle, has caught up with me. I am scared out of my mind and all is I can do is work lousy jobs that make me miserable and hate my life to the point where I have constant thoughts of suicide.

    I really do not want to live to see the future. Anyone have fears like mine? What do you do to calm yourself?
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Fam6236, I am sorry that you have so much fear and worry; I understand completely how it feels to have concerns about making ends meet and/or being able to afford the things I will need in the future to have a moderately comfortable life. If you are coming up to 40 that means that you have 25 - 30 good working years ahead of you. It isn't too late to start a pension and it definitely isn't too late to revamp your career prospects. I have a friend who went into teacher training this year at 40, and another who decided at 39 to train to be a lawyer and now works for Disney in their legal dept.

    When I get panicy and full of fear I plan. The only was to really combat fear is to figure a way out past it. I really recommend that instead of looking at the failures of the past you sit down with some paper and pens and highlighters and postit notes (and other fun planny things... yes I am a nerd) and map out the things you want - really really want not just think you should have - what you actually want from a job - and then get on Google and find out what you need to do to have them. You have plenty of time left - the future can be something you want to participate in.

    Take care and stay safe :hug:
     
  3. iwanttohelp

    iwanttohelp Well-Known Member

    I get to feeling the same way too. I'm 44 and I have blown through my savings so many times. I make good money but still live month to month. When you have many kids and a house unexpected expenses are always coming up. Plus I have a college degree and a good job but layoffs have emptied my retirement accounts out a few times. So I am always fearful of what will be next!

    What helps for me is looking at myself as an explorer through life is who is "traveling light". You can't take it with you and no matter how much you have something can always happen to take it away. In reality, life is just a temporary trip. Wherever we came from, we will be going back there! I really only care about money so I can take care of my kids. Personally I need a couch, and a subway sandwich, jeans and a t-shirt. I'd be happy to give up my car and house, both are just a huge stress! If I have a next life - just give me a one room apartment in a city somewhere where I can walk everywhere.

    It helps me to be very very thankful for the beauty of the natural world, the things that I do have and just take everything one day at a time. Breath, stretch, walk... chill. Give yourself time out.

    I also agree best thing you can do is make a long term and short term plan and commit to very very small daily actions. I do that and it does help.

    Also, finding some belief that helps you deal with guilt, the past and trusting that you will be ok helps. If you dont believe in God then Buddhism is great. You can read about Karma for directing your future. If you do believe in God then get back involved with whatever your church is, look past the people and get into the underlying spirit of the message... if you are honestly regretful, you are always forgiven, there is always hope. You need to have a system for understanding life in the context of the vast big picture of eternity or it makes no sense.

    If you are seriously thinking of suicide you should get professional help. To have the life you want... you need to create the life you want. No one will do it for you. It is never, ever too late. Never. You can do it!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2014