Fear of my parents dying.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by boo, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I was never a good son to my parents. I never talk to them. But i Love them nonetheless. They a getting very old. To the point where i fear i wont have much time to spend with them. And that scares the living shit out of me. It adds to my depression a big deal. I dont know how to deal with it fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Boo I do understand my mom will be 80 soon and not well. I try to spend as much time as i can with her going to see her once a week now. Even if you pick up the phone and say hi Boo it will help them and you. Don't waiste time on worrying about their death use that energy to make their life better and yours. take care.
  3. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    Hello Boo,
    What keeps you from talking with your parents?

    Sometimes i have serious trouble talking, just getting words to exit my mouth, but i have had some success writing letters, -not big deep letters, just hi and what's new kind of stuff. i can take as long as i need to form my idea carefully and i dn't have to deal with imediate replies so i can say just what i want to say with out the risk of not good subjects.
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I like both the previous posts. Maybe try writing a letter, or sending a just thinking of you card. Try calling once a week just to say hi. Who knows. It may not be long before you are meeting once a week just to go grab a coffee or a walk around the mall or something. I can guarantee that it is just as important to your parents to have some contact no matter how small with you too.

    It will help to lift the guilt you feel and help to ease the depression too.
  5. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    My grandma told me that the only thing she would regret not doing before she died- was letting her children and grandchildren know that she loves them; and hear that they love her in return.
    Although I don't visit her much, I do phone every once in awhile and send cards and pictures when I can. Small things like that makes her feel less lonely, I hope.

    If you have had difficulty speaking with your parents in the past the best thing to do is really to forgive and forget, I think...
    If you care about them, you will have to let any sour feelings go and just tell them how you feel. Making up is good for the soul- and not having that unfinished business will make things much easier in the end.
  6. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    Agreed - Just telling people you love them, and hearing it in return, is worth a million smiles

    love yorkie
  7. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Thanks to all the replies. Means alot. I know its a wall i will have to break down. Sometimes i'm scare that i might be too late.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    The only time it's too late to try and get back in touch with people you love, is if you wait until the time you do have is used up. Dont wait Boo! I know it's hard, but you're parents may have changed. Things have changed since whatever caused the riff between you. You've changed. So hope for the positive and that may be exactly what you find if you drop them a call or a card today. You wont know unless you try. And if you dont try while you can, you may have a lifetime of wondering. Dont do that to yourself.