fear of never overcoming social awkwardness

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by sadhart, Aug 10, 2014.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Everytime I try to open up, especially to the opposite sex (female) I find myself struggling to not come off as awkward. Yeah, I don't want to go into too much detasil simply because I'm tired of explaining the situations in detail. I'll just say that when I compare myself to other people, it just seems so natural for them. I'm getting to the point when I just want to give up trying to have a decent social life. Sorry for being vague.
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Maybe you are just trying too hard. Maybe you should relax a little and let things come naturally.
     
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I don't really force myself to be social. Really, I am holding back too much. And at my age (32) I don't really think that is normal.
     
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Maybe you shouldn't hold back so much.
     
  5. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    ...I know you're trying to help, so I'll just say thanks anyway.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I usually overcome social awkwardness by making a joke, making light of whatever we're talking about, it usually works too. I do understand though- there was one day last week I was feeling very anxious but had to go out, I kept my head down...I usually try and pretend I'm somewhere else but to be honest the thing that helps me the most is anti anxiety medication. I am a totally different person while the drug is working. I have come a LONG way though, and maybe still some bit to go... but I think/hope it can be overcome completely.
     
  7. Lunar90

    Lunar90 New Member

    While my experiences are most likely totally irrelevant, since everyone is different. (And strangely I get along with the opposite sex better. ) I understand the feeling of hopelessness, in this topic anyways.

    But I'm completely terrible at "social chit-chat", I never understood it, never will.
    Combined with my social anxiety, it can take me hours to even start a conversation.
    Totally not cool.

    But anyways. It is something that is really hard to understand to those who are "normal".
    Even 2 days ago, my sister had a small get-together here, 8 guests, and she excepted me to open up to them, make friends, etc...
    Obviously, it never worked out. But it hasn't worked out in the last 5 years ever!

    And I'm so damn envious of every single one of them. ^^

    I personally just accepted this.
    Now obviously this ain't a really good solution, but it just helps me keep my balance.
    It helps me being "contented" with my life. (Yup, I read loads of Buddhist materials. They are... nice. )
    And maybe along the way I can solve it.
     
  8. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Thanks for sharing this, and welcome to the forum. I guess for me, I try to accept how I am (socially awkward) but it becomes frustrating when I really do want to have a decent social life. I don't know....maybe it's just not for me or something.
     
  9. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I'm not really into taking meds....I don't like the stigma, in particualr the external ones that come with them. But thank you for the advice no less.
     
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