Fear of People

[Always Hopeless]

I feel as though I have an, oftentimes crippling, fear of people in general because I've been hurt so much.

This fear becomes so hard to tolerate that at some point it turns into hate. Hate for people in general. It's exhausting and I don't like the person that my suffering is turning me into. I don't want to be a hateful, bad person. But it's hard to get back up when you've been beaten down so much.

Do you know what I mean? What to do?

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

You don't need to fear other people. They have no power over you.

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

I know how you feel although I don't hate people in general I'm just very wary of them and get anxiety terrified that they'll hurt me like others did, so I naturally don't let people in. I don't like being lonely though so I can't win. I don't find acquaintances or casual friends fulfilling but if I let myself get close to people then I'm risking lots of pain if they hurt me, which so far, basically everyone has. I've said to myself lots of times after someone's really hurt me "thats it you're never giving anyone a chance ever again" and then stupid me eventually does let someone in again and the same thing happens again. I can't trust anyone, I wish i could. It's miserable and so depressing.

I would say stay open-minded cause not everyone is bad but then its easier said than done isnt it. I think a halfway house is the best solution- only let people into your life halfway, don't tell them everything, don't give them too much ability to effect your mood but enough that you can be a bit happy but also not so deeply just incase they hurt you, then it won't hurt so bad if you're not fully attached.

I dont know, I'm so depressed about this right now myself.

 

[MisterBGone]

I feel as though I have an, oftentimes crippling, fear of people in general because I've been hurt so much.

This fear becomes so hard to tolerate that at some point it turns into hate. Hate for people in general. It's exhausting and I don't like the person that my suffering is turning me into. I don't want to be a hateful, bad person. But it's hard to get back up when you've been beaten down so much.

Do you know what I mean? What to do?

I believe that is completely understandable, and perfectly reasonable, for you to feel this way. . . given what you've just gone through (as well as prior to/growing up - in that environment). What you really could use, or need, is some more positive experiences with positive people who will then provide you with a positive influence, to help garner & generate that trust in folk that is now so fading; or non-existent. This is where talk therapy, as I am sure you're aware, would be of some helpful / or good use! Though I know that it is not that effortless or easy/feasible a task for you to have access to, or manage right now/at this moment. You're kind of sitting with a very Unbalanced, equation right now - with regards how you view humans (& in terms of the issues with trust). That said, it is totally to be warranted, or expected with your history: both present & past. It doesn't have to be that way going forward, or into the future, though... That is the good news! :^) Try not to be so hard on yourself, in regards not liking these changes you're experiencing. For they are simply a function of the vast trauma & psychological torture for which you've been put through. And so, please do what you can to give yourself a break, take a deep breathe, and try to relax some of that stress away. It is normal and human for you to be in the position you're in. Hopefully, once you get rolling with school again, your studies can foster or be a catalyst to embarking on a path to finding and making more meaningful & thus, or therefore positive / healthy influences on you, and your life! It can be done, just a little hard to see right now with your skewed view. Which was done onto you, by others~ mrb.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

cd

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

What is most just and appropriate? That I fear them, or that they fear me? Answer that question inside yourself. The answer will likely be very different from the one you find outside.

 

[Always Hopeless]

What is most just and appropriate? That I fear them, or that they fear me? Answer that question inside yourself. The answer will likely be very different from the one you find outside.

The girls who bullied me were scared of me because I was getting better grades than them while they struggled to even pass exams. So, they were scared that I was their competition.

What makes me hate people is that when I'm not performing well, I focus on myself and try to do better. What they did was bully me and try to make me fail instead of working on themselves to be better. They chose the coward's way out. I've always been surrounded by people who would rather be cruel to me to make themselves feel better instead to trying to be better people themselves. I hate the cruel, evil people that I can't get away from.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

"What is most just and appropriate? That I fear them, or that they fear me? "

Answer that question. Not for me, or this forum. Within yourself.

 

[Always Hopeless]

"What is most just and appropriate? That I fear them, or that they fear me? "

Answer that question. Not for me, or this forum. Within yourself.

I don't know what that means.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

Fair enough. For me it means: Be yourself. Be you, even if 'you' is incomprehensible to others.
Especially so. Keep being you.

 

[Thauoy]

I feel as though I have an, oftentimes crippling, fear of people in general because I've been hurt so much.

This fear becomes so hard to tolerate that at some point it turns into hate. Hate for people in general. It's exhausting and I don't like the person that my suffering is turning me into. I don't want to be a hateful, bad person. But it's hard to get back up when you've been beaten down so much.

Do you know what I mean? What to do?

I feel the same as you do. I also hate society because of the way they treat me.

 

[Champagne]

Totally get what you mean, felt that way when I was younger, I was angry and full of hatred due to being bullied so much. You gotta pick yourself up and work with a therapist regularly to settle down that hatred and begin positive, healthy relationships that will last

Keep venting here, some of us were once in your shoes, we can relate

 

[Anonymous ID]

I think you have a lot of trust issues. I hope you can find someone to trust and share some of that pain and hatred with. In the meantime keep talking to us, we won't hurt you 😊