Fear of posting on the internet

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by SAVE_ME, Sep 15, 2010.

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  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    A while back I was a member on another message board somewhere and I had a particularly bad experience there. Let's just say that everyone from the members to the mods themselves were a**holes to say the least. I tried to defend myself and a friend in the process but ended up just making myself look like an even bigger fool by doing so. Since then I've had a bit of a fear of registering on message boards out of fear of being flamed. I know it's only words on a screen and it seems like a completely irrational fear to have but I'm the type of person who usually takes what others say to heart. For that reason, I always try and treat others with respect because I don't know what the person on the other end is thinking or feeling and I would hate to trigger any kind of bad feelings or suicidal thoughts in that person.

    I used to be a fairly frequent poster on this site. I didn't have a lot of friends on here but I had a few acquaintances I'd exchange PM's with but I haven't talked to anyone in a while because I'm rarely on this site these days, and if I am then I'm usually just lurking unless I find a post I feel like responding to.

    Anyway, I really want to get back into the habit of posting more regularly on here and other sites because to tell the truth, I'm lonely at the moment and I'd really like to find people I can connect with. Most of my MSN friendships have grown cold and distant and there's actually only one person I speak with regularly over there but she doesn't know about my depressive thoughts and I'd prefer to keep it that way. Also I haven't logged into facebook for weeks and deleted a ton of personal info and stuff from there because I'm no longer comfortable with people knowing that stuff in case they use it against me somehow.

    I just have this big fear of talking to people online these days because of that one bad experience. That and I suffer from "foot in mouth" sometimes and can accidentally piss someone off by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, albeit not intentionally.

    Any time I do post, I check my post 100 times over in case anyone starts calling me out for petty spelling errors and poor grammar, or in case I've said anything that could be misconstrued as an insult.

    Some forums I will just lurk on without signing up because I find other peoples' ideas thoughts and ideas interesting but I'm afraid of signing up to offer my own input or anything like that. I know not all internet forums are like this but there are many places out there where people have little or no respect for each other. You so much as spell a word wrong and they'll never live it down and bombard you with "Epic fail" comments and those annoying demotivational posters and lolcat pics and facepalms. There are just plain nasty people out there who take pleasure in ruining it for everyone. I can't sign up on most places to discuss my interests with anyone because most people who are into the same interests as me are way too "hardcore" and in your face and hostile to have a decent discussion with, so at the end of the day I usually just decide it's not worth the effort.

    Does anybody else ever feel this way?
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I have had a bad experience on a forum before (I don't feel comfortable going into the details) and for a little while i felt very hurt and didn't want to join another forum. A friend recommended this place to me and eventually out of desperation i joined.

    Anyway at first i found the amount of people here overwhelming and i don't think i posted much, but i would every now and then and just got more and more comfortable as time went on, when i realised that most people here are very nice and supportive.

    I think as people get to know you, they will realise you have good intentions and not misconstrue anything you say. I guess it the territory with the net, it is only text, so tone and body language are not present. To be honest, it's going to happen from time to time. But you know in yourself that you are a decent person and do not want to hurt anyone, you can only be yourself and hope that people will see you for what you are.

    Perhaps you can just start posting a little bit more and more here? Try and build up your confidence a bit.

    Can i ask what your insterest is where these more 'hardcore' people are?
  3. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I swear that you just described how I am about online forums 10000% so your not the only one. I've had terrible experiences with online forums on other sites. The site I got the most problems from in my past was Mixpod. I eventually couldn't take it no more and left that site half a year ago. I also can't stand when people post those "You Mad?" & Facepalm pictures as well. I think they are dumb, especially when your trying to discuss a topic and everyone starts spamming the forum up with those stupid pictures. I also couldn't stand whenever I would use my Picture as my default on forums and I'd have people ganging up on me and insulting me. "Fat", "Emo", "Kill Yourself nobody gives a crap about you and nobody loves you". People can be so ignorant. I don't like to post a lot on forums because I fear being ganged up on again. I know its just the internet but still that stuff they said made me very suicidal. I also get paranoid about what I post online. I refuse to post a lot on Facebook, I don't care if only my friends can see it. I do admit though, I'm pretty comfortable on this site, even as a new member. I still refuse to go into a ton of detail though about some stuff. But yeah, like I said, your not the only one.
  4. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I find it a little easier on forums like this where everyone's basically in the same boat so I'm less likely to come across someone rude. However I'm into things like WWE, games, anime and music, and not everyone is like this but some fans take it to the extreme. For example, there's always that gamer who's got a higher gamerscore than everybody else and likes to think that makes him/her the authority on the subject and they make a point of flaming "n00bs" as it were. I usually only play games casually for fun anyway. With music, I have somewhat of an eclectic taste and I don't really care if it's mainstream or underground, rock or pop or whatever. I just listen to what sounds good to me. People are entitled to their opinions but it's when they start e-reaming you over your music that it gets to me. Like someone could say "Oh, I dislike such-and-such a band for such-and-such a reason" and that's all fine and good but it's the ones who are like "You're an emo ****** if you listen to that ****, you ******!!!" I mean, Jesus Christ lol I can understand if it just isn't some peoples' cup of tea, you know? Each to their own, but there are some people who are unnecessarily hostile about it, like straight-up in your face and intense about it...like I missed some kind of law where stuff like that has to be such serious business lol

    I reacted to it once and I came away looking like an idiot. The guy was being unbelievably rude and hostile to a close friend of mine and I thought he was out of line so I lost it with him but he had just about every other member on the forum backing him up. The owner of that site wasn't much better either.

    I think that's sorta why I have this fear now to be honest. I'm "easily trolled" as it were and if someone insults me it's only natural that I'm going to want to defend myself and let them know they're out of line but unfortunately I'm not all that blessed with the gift of the gab so when it comes to verbal confrontations I'm hopeless lol. I will contradict myself and they'll make a point of twisting everything I say and coming across as some pseudo-intellectual in front of their peers and making me look like a fool, even if I know I'm in the right.
  5. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I swear your like my forum twin or something lol. I also enjoy forums like this because like you said, everyones on the same boat with things. I have not seen any rude people on here that call you cry baby, emo, etc. Most of everyone knows how a person feels and doesn't hate. I always thought I was the only person on this earth that felt the way I do until I joined here.
    I as well hate when a person starts to insult my friend on a forum and the monster in me lashes out at them and everyone starts to join the person while bashing me and my friend. They join along with that person just because that person is 'hot' and popular. That would get me so maaaadddd. I really don't care what people say about me anymore, I'm use to it, but when someone says something to a friend of mine, the monster in me shows.
  6. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member


    I am a member of a couple of forums. But the thing is, they are full of 'happy' people. The people that you described. They just put you down, and you get all those epic fail remarks and shit.

    In a way, it's just too 'OMG YAY IM SO HAPPY LETS HAVE A PARTY'. Let's face it; I'm not that kinda of person 99.9999999999999999% of the time. Even then, it's for a split second and before you know it I feel like killing myself again.

    I don't post on many other forums because of how depressed I am. That and I also have a thing where I take ANYTHING to heart. For example, if someone was to say something hurtful on SF to me, I wouldn't be surprised if I just started crying. It also stems from a self-diagnosed social anxiety. Thankfully I don't get bullied at school or anything because I wouldn't be surprised if I just walked in front of a bus as soon as it happens. I'm a fairly emotional person most of the time, not an awful lot of people know that. They tend to think that I don't care about things. Well fuck off. I do.

    SF is a true gem of a support forum. People actually go out of their way to lend a 'cyber-hand'(lol :tongue:) to someone in need. You're able to talk about many things that other forums would just answer with a "LOLOLOL cool story bro' or a "****** emo, go cut yourself". That's why I stay here, because it's safe.
  7. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I do agree with you also that they are full of happy people also. God it seems like most of them live a decent life and don't even know what depression feels like. What am I to judge a book by its cover though, they may feel just as down as any of us but not show it as much. I do love this site out of any forum site though. I don't feel like a freak for being so different from all those "YAAAY I'M SO HAPPY I LOVE LIFE" people and those "LOL EPICFAIL TROLLFACE" people. Also, I don't get bullied at school anymore. I use to a lot though but it stopped by beginning of 9th grade (I'm now in the 10th). Most people are scared to say something bad to me cause they know how awful I can get easily. I still get trashed talked in real life from time to time, even outside of school, but its not as bad as it use to be. I actually get made fun of more online than I do in real life :blink:
    I still get very sensitive about some stuff though, online or not. I try to hide it most times but fail sometimes.
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