Fear of returning to work

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Butterflyaway, Jan 8, 2013.

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  1. Butterflyaway

    Butterflyaway Active Member

    I'm not sure where, if at all, I should be posting, but the last two nights action have indicated I should.

    I cannot sleep. If frustates me that I can't sleep so I have taken sleeping pills and alochol too (not dangerous amounds). I am feel "weird" not but still can't sleep. I am also taking a long time to post this as I keep making spelling mistakes. I like profection.

    I know I am getting really really stressed about going back to work next week. So don't want to do. Can't face the people, the snide comments about how I shoudn't be doing this job with my mental health probs and even shouldn't be working here any more. People there aren't tactful in the slightest and say things as they think them. I understand it 's pressure in the job, and to make like the right of situations to get though them, but I don't know if I can even face them.

    I still cry all the time. Turn to H when things get reall bad. I also spent today with agony kidney stone pain and Id rather have that then having to go to workl I know I am not ready for work but dont know when i will be ready to go back but work want to know;

    But I also know I will put on my "pretend smile " and say that "I'll be fine" as that is all anyone wants to hear. I't going back into the prefend, false worth or everything just being okay. Then when i get home I explode into myself and lose control of what I do.

    Wnat it to do away or I want to go anyway and hide from it all.

    againk, sorry for ht ebad tying etc. I haven' taken anything illegal but a bit more that I shoudl as the normal does did nto work"
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Get note from your doctor stating you will be off on sick leave until he says it is ok for you to go back hugs
     
  3. Butterflyaway

    Butterflyaway Active Member

    Unfortunately the doctor say that I can't be signe dof unless i am activitely getting help to get better. I'm ntaking no meds at they don't help and the menthal health services have done all they fcan. woRK are also getting "funny" about me still being off.If I don't return soon I will stop getting paid - fairy emough. Why does moey have to come into everything in this wold? I need money to paid bills etc so technically I have to work but know it will prbably finished me off too.
     
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hey as Total eclipse said get a note from your doc.Tell him/her how you are feeling and also seek some support to help you get through this.I know what its like not being able to sleep they wont give me script but trying to work under stress and mental probs will just cause mistakes at work and poor performance.Sometimes we all just need a break from everyday pressures and some ppl.Take care
    Gav
     
  5. Pdoc

    Pdoc Member

    def try and get your dr to give you a note, I am in the same situation where i just cant commit to work but need to get back into it!! I just keep close to my Dr and ensure he gives me a note each time i see him even if he doesnt give me a script
     
  6. Butterflyaway

    Butterflyaway Active Member

    Thank you all for your comments. I wish I could get another sick note to buy me more time, however, it feels like what good is another week or two off work. (Have been off sick for about 3 months now.) Nothing positive will change in that time. I don't have a support worker or therapist to work with (they have discharged me as they don't know how to help me). And work already think crap of me due to my emotional state and high sick record. I'm just so worried about everything I can't face it and want to hide away from it all forever. I'm sorry I know this sounds whinny but feeling so very low and full of dread. I need something to happen before Monday. I can't do Monday.
     
  7. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hey
    Ya dont sound whinny I can understand where you are coming from.Been and still am in same situation only difference is i m seeking employment at the moment and most days thats a daunting task.Sounds as though you dont really enjoy where you are working maybe a sea change could be a good thing have you considered looking for differrent employment.Other thing is and i m sure your country is the same work place harrassment or bullying isnt on and should be reported especially with your mental state of mind.Depression is an illness and its not your fault and i know most work places cannot take the piss out of you for it.Take care glad to see you are trying to fight and venting here good luck
    Gav
     
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