I am ready to depart but am afraid of messing up and surviving with, for example, brain damage. I am also afraid of suffering pain, but am willing to do so if the outcome is successful. I am in my late 50s and cannot remember a day when I didn't want to die. I have slowly distanced myself from friends and do not feel I would damage anyone else if I bail out. I am not looking for a reason to live, but a guarantee that I will successfully complete the dying process. If anyone would like to comment, I'd be grateful.