Fear

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mpang123, Nov 8, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I just jinxed myself. At group,I shared that I'm ready to go oupatient, which is a step down from intensive group therapy. Outpatients have less vigorous and less demanding schedule than inpatients. They attend less groups and don't have to come everyday. I thought I was ready for it. Little did I know that suddenly, I started doubting myself out of fear of failure. I started thinking about my paranoid delusions that I never dealt with nor mentioned in group. I fear that I will relapse if I go to outpatient status. I realized I am extremely lonely, even though I enjoy being alone. I have never been married, no children, no close friends, and I push all potential relationships away (whether it's a friendship or romantic relationship) because of the fear of loss. My self-esteem is still very low and I'm not very confident about my future life. I've been mentally disabled since I was 15, and I have stereotyped my life based on my mental illness, if that makes any sense. Yes, I have a college degree and have worked in the medical field for a few years, but I still missed a normal social life and creating my own family. When I get old and sick, I have no husband nor children to take care of me. I will die an old maid. What a promising life. Yes, I'm depressed about all this, but at least I'm not suicidal.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You will be ok hun talk to us when you are feeling lonely or anxious ok
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.