I'm afraid of so many things now. I was recently let go due to my position being eliminated but a previous employer has hired me back full time, but it is second shift. I also am going through the process of interviewing at two different places for positions as data analysts.
I have so many choices in my lof and I don't know what to do. I could take one of these positions if they pan out but I have different projects I'm working on such as remodeling my basement and working on a video gamee. They are salaried and first shift, as well as pay hope but I'm afraid of things turning out like the past with salaried position taking over my life to meet impossible deadlines ( I worked at a place for a year ad a developer and they worked me an average of 80 hours a week, actually I was making more hourly doing dev work for the 2nd shift job that pays me less because here I only work 40 hours). I want to do other things like start a YouTube channel with a friend. I also would like to go back to school for my masters.
I have so many options and I'm overwhelmed and scared. I keep thinking about ending it all because I don't know what the heck to do. I'm so scared to make a decision.
I right now can't sleep because of all of these and the fact that I've noticed a creep around my house. I've called the police on this fact and I find myself unable to sleep for the fear of my wife and dogs. I'm just watching out the window with a sword in my lap. The only thing to accompany me are my thoughts of doubt and ensecurities about myself, along with the dread of making life decisions. Every now and then thinking that I want to end it, but feelin I can't so I can protect my family.
I am do tired, scared, doubtful, and self loathing right now.
I have so many choices in my lof and I don't know what to do. I could take one of these positions if they pan out but I have different projects I'm working on such as remodeling my basement and working on a video gamee. They are salaried and first shift, as well as pay hope but I'm afraid of things turning out like the past with salaried position taking over my life to meet impossible deadlines ( I worked at a place for a year ad a developer and they worked me an average of 80 hours a week, actually I was making more hourly doing dev work for the 2nd shift job that pays me less because here I only work 40 hours). I want to do other things like start a YouTube channel with a friend. I also would like to go back to school for my masters.
I have so many options and I'm overwhelmed and scared. I keep thinking about ending it all because I don't know what the heck to do. I'm so scared to make a decision.
I right now can't sleep because of all of these and the fact that I've noticed a creep around my house. I've called the police on this fact and I find myself unable to sleep for the fear of my wife and dogs. I'm just watching out the window with a sword in my lap. The only thing to accompany me are my thoughts of doubt and ensecurities about myself, along with the dread of making life decisions. Every now and then thinking that I want to end it, but feelin I can't so I can protect my family.
I am do tired, scared, doubtful, and self loathing right now.
