Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Brian777, Mar 15, 2016.

  1. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    I'm so tired of living in fear, I never used to be like this or maybe I just masked it from myself. I wake up with a hopeless feeling of facing another day,I can hardly get myself to leave the house. Can't even figure out what my fears all are, I know one is of going crazy or losing control. Another is of being unable to look after myself, my back injury has become increasingly worse with arthristis setting in, some days my back locks up where I can't straighten up or even walk. Since my Mom died last year I feel very alone and it's been a worse, all my life I've been nervous around people with panic attacks so I pretty well have isolated myself. The last months have been increasingly worse and I don't know what to do. The periods of this used to last a few days then I'd get a little better and more optimistic, this last period is going on a week now. I'm waiting on a psych consult and waiting and waiting.....I don't even know if that will help. I'm tired of being in physical and mental pain all the time, I'm tired of FEAR.....it's dibilitating, it's torture. I'm losing my hope and entering despair. I don't even know why I'm sharing, maybe because I never have been upfront with people where my problems are concerned, I'm usually the one who listens to others and encourages. My life is a disaster, my house is a shambles from not doing housework, I can't motivate myself to do anything. I wish there were a way out, I think even my dog is tired of me cause I can't take her on the long walks in the woods we used to go on. I hate being a shiner, I just HURT.
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    You're no whiner. I am sorry you struggle like this though.

    Anxiety and depression can truly be debilitating but with proper help via therapy and medication you can move ahead and get better. There are many ways to manage with anxiety.

    One thing about untreated anxiety is that it becomes a vicious cycle; you get panic attacks and then you start to panic about having one again, fearing you are losing your mind... which stresses you and leads you to more anxiety.
    I am happy to hear you're getting help. Do you know when?

    Until then there are some methods that can help when a panic attack sets in... keep in mind you need to find what works for you.

    If I feel short of breath, start to shiver and I realize it's a panic attack building I try to put a hand on my chest and focus on slowly move it up and down with my breathing... that helps me get my breathing a bit under control.

    My therapist is training the 'Butterfly Hug' with me, and I found yesterday during the session it really helped me:
    Crossing your arms over your chest, gently tapping your upper arms one by one... for some reason that cross stimulation calms the brain.

    A method that works for my boyfriend is the 'Grounding method'

    Find 3 things you can see and describe them to yourself in detail.
    Find 2 things you can feel and describe them to yourself, in details...
    Taste or smell something, describe it to yourself...

    Often with my boyfriend we only get to the start of the feeling step when we've done it together.

    Be kind to yourself. Things take time, but there is a cure. It does get better, and you're getting help!
    Brian777 likes this.
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Thank you for the suggestions, I'll try them. Yes on the psychiatrist, unfortunately I have to wait until they can get me in, so far I haven't heard and it's been almost 10days.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to the forum Brian. I am so sorry for your major loss, of course that is bound to upset you. Try not to isolate yourself too much or you could get really depressed again, I isolated myself for a long time and it was a nightmare. Please try and get out for some fresh air each day, just a quick walk or trip to the super market. I think you should keep posting here and seeking support, it will be good for you :)
    Brian777 likes this.
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Thank you Petal, I'm trying to get out at least once a day even for a short time.