Right now, fear is what is keeping me here. I don't know what to do. I feel compelled to get help. My T urges me to have another check-in person. She knows I've had thoughts in the past but she doesn't know how bad it truly is. How much I struggle every day just to stay here. Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of her the truth. Afraid of telling someone else. I'm afraid of going through with it. It paralyzes me and I don't know where to go from here, but I know that I can't keep doing this. I can't make it much longer. And I'm afraid. Of what I'm going to do. If I fail. If I actually succeed. I don't know what to do.