So, basically tonights the night that I was planning on finally ending my life. For some reason, I don't think I have the strength to do it because the last thing I want to do, is leave my loved ones feeling the way I feel everyday. I'm scared because I set a date. I know that if anything goes wrong, I'll think that's it some sort of sign that's telling me "You set the date for a reason, no turning back." I don't know what has changed my mind. Maybe it's the fact that complete strangers are finding to be helpful, maybe it's the fact that I don't want to leave my loved ones, maybe it's the fact that I want to succeed in a better future. I WANT to try, I WANT to succeed. I just still don't know how. I'm only going through the motions. I still feel like complete garbage. I'm sort of very angry that I changed my mind because I know I'll regret it soon enough. I was once told "You're such a failure that you've failed at suicide." I feel that way. What's so wrong with my life? Why don't I know what being happy is? I just want to get better, but what is "better."