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Fearful of losing my job

Sunday16

SF Supporter
#1
Along with 95% of my fellow employees, I was placed on furlough 3 months ago. Last week my boss called to say my job would not be reinstated for at least two months, maybe longer. In the meantime, I could stay on unemployment or return and take one of two jobs in other departments at a significant pay cut. I asked to think about it before deciding. Over the weekend I talked to the manager of one of the departments to learn more about the job. I also talked to the HR director about the pay and decided to take the job which began this week. Every person I saw, especially the directors of the company, looked at me incredulously when they saw me at work. It was not because I was working in another department, something else was going on, I could feel it, and it made me really uncomfortable. Later that day one of the directors, who is notoriously loud mouthed and negative, came to talk or rather, complain to me. His gripe was about how cold and vicious the other directors had been while deciding how to deal with lost income and too many employees. In other words people were going to be fired. He said he had almost lost his job. Then he said something that shook me to my foundation, he said that I was on "the list," however he thinks I had saved myself by taking a job in another department. So I was supposed to fired and he confirmed that was why everyone was looking and acting so strangely when they saw me at work. I did not need to know this. Why would someone say such a painful thing. I'm already very stressed, struggling with loneliness and uncertainty, and worried about paying my basic expenses, and this insensitive jerk feels emboldened to inform me that I should be fired. I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking that my future is tenuous and I could be fired at any moment. I'm so angry I want to go to HR and report this director for spreading confidential information and terrorizing the hourly workers - namely me. But I don't think that's a good idea. It would probably backfire make me look worse than I guess I already do. I'm not comfortable talking directly with thy guy about how his comment made me feel. So I guess I just have to live with the knowledge that the leaders at my company, which includes my boss, want me gone. At least I have a job for now and I'm grateful to my new manager. But I feel so vulnerable and unable to trust anyone at work right now.
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#2
Along with 95% of my fellow employees, I was placed on furlough 3 months ago. Last week my boss called to say my job would not be reinstated for at least two months, maybe longer. In the meantime, I could stay on unemployment or return and take one of two jobs in other departments at a significant pay cut. I asked to think about it before deciding. Over the weekend I talked to the manager of one of the departments to learn more about the job. I also talked to the HR director about the pay and decided to take the job which began this week. Every person I saw, especially the directors of the company, looked at me incredulously when they saw me at work. It was not because I was working in another department, something else was going on, I could feel it, and it made me really uncomfortable. Later that day one of the directors, who is notoriously loud mouthed and negative, came to talk or rather, complain to me. His gripe was about how cold and vicious the other directors had been while deciding how to deal with lost income and too many employees. In other words people were going to be fired. He said he had almost lost his job. Then he said something that shook me to my foundation, he said that I was on "the list," however he thinks I had saved myself by taking a job in another department. So I was supposed to fired and he confirmed that was why everyone was looking and acting so strangely when they saw me at work. I did not need to know this. Why would someone say such a painful thing. I'm already very stressed, struggling with loneliness and uncertainty, and worried about paying my basic expenses, and this insensitive jerk feels emboldened to inform me that I should be fired. I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking that my future is tenuous and I could be fired at any moment. I'm so angry I want to go to HR and report this director for spreading confidential information and terrorizing the hourly workers - namely me. But I don't think that's a good idea. It would probably backfire make me look worse than I guess I already do. I'm not comfortable talking directly with thy guy about how his comment made me feel. So I guess I just have to live with the knowledge that the leaders at my company, which includes my boss, want me gone. At least I have a job for now and I'm grateful to my new manager. But I feel so vulnerable and unable to trust anyone at work right now.
Don’t let anyone make you feel like you shouldn’t be there. You obviously did what other people were too high and mighty to do. You helped your company by making yourself indispensable. You volunteered to take a lower paying job to help them in their time of need. This guy sounds like he’s trying to make you regret that decision. Don’t fall into his trap. In fact, I would make it well known that you are a faithful employee that will stay with your company while they figure out what to do during these uncertain times. Not only does your actions back this up, but it proves that you have integrity. You aren’t willing to bail because your job is struggling. You didn’t demand your normal salary knowing they couldn’t afford you. Hold your head up high. As long as you do your job and make yourself a valuable employee they will be able to employ you. Hope this helps.
 

shattered dreams

My scars are healed, doesnt mean the pain is gone
#3
Sometimes you have to stand your ground, what i mean is, if you choose
a job that makes you happy to be there, you'll never work a day in your life.

never sell yourself short. think about a job that you are passionate about.

Don't stop working, but get yourself back out there and find a better job.
working a job that brings you down, or makes you feel uncomfortable
to be there (drama) there has to be something better that will make you
feel happy to get up and go to work everyday.
 

Sunday16

SF Supporter
#4
thank you both for reading and responding...

@Daphna thank you for your words of encouragement. I need that as I head back into the Lion's Den today. I don't want to go through this world not being able to trust people or always having to watch my back, but it's amazing just how often I have to do that. I'm proud of my work ethic. Those directors don't know me at all, even though I was the assistant to one of them for over three years.

@shattered dreams I've thought about what you said and I think that's the silver lining. They didn't get the pleasure of striking the final blow against me. I will rewrite my resume and start quietly looking for another, better job. It may take a year, but when I leave it will on my terms, not theirs, I hope.
 
#5
In the meantime, I could stay on unemployment or return and take one of two jobs in other departments at a significant pay cut
I wonder if they offered something similar to a lot of employees as a kind of test. Maybe they assumed that anyone with a good work ethic would rather take a job with a pay cut than stay on unemployment, and they planned just to fire people who stayed on unemployment. So maybe they were surprised to see you at work because they underestimated your work ethic.
 

Sunday16

SF Supporter
#6
You know @may71 they underestimate a lot of things about me. I'm very intelligent and intuitive, I care about my job no matter what I'm asked to do, and I care about people. I'm undervalued and under appreciated and yes they underestimate my work ethic. My new manager will get the best of me and all I have to offer because I'm on his payroll now. And the directors, especially my old boss, will get no assistance from me, unless they get approval from my new manager. *happyno
 

agateaqua

Well-Known Member
#7
It sounds like he was warning you or talking to you confidentially ? I don't know , could be at least. And at least you weren't quick to jump on unemployment, like probably many at your company. That will look AWESOME at your next job hunt (if/when that happens!)
 

Sunday16

SF Supporter
#10
Hi @Kiwi2016 and thank you for asking about me, I'm truly touched!
I'm still working at my temporary position and I feel blessed to be working at all given the employment situation in this area. My new manager has been great, he's even told me several times how helpful I've been and how much he appreciates me. But this job is purely temporary, pandemic related, and it will end soon. Though I really like my manager, the regular work of this department is not something I can do. However, I have a meeting about another position in the company on Friday, for which I'm being considered. Unfortunately my old job is being eliminated forever. The new job will be similar but it will be a demotion, and I suspect more work with less pay. The executives are playing god, shuffling and cobbling things together so they can keep their own six figure salaries fully intact, while dumping the stuff they don't want to deal with on someone else. I'll learn more on Friday. I'm cautiously hopeful.
 

Sunday16

SF Supporter
#11
@Kiwi2016
The meeting with my old boss didn’t go as I had hoped. He told me he didn’t need me anymore and I saw 3 ½ years of hard work and dedication to building my career dissolve before my eyes. It was heartbreaking. Truthfully though, it was not completely unexpected. Though I was his assistant, I had my job before he had his and when we met I felt an immediate disconnect. Though I always performed my job well, was pleasant, dependable, and exceled at every project (often with little or no instructions) I could feel he didn’t want me there. He only ever seemed to give me the tasks that no one else wanted. And I don’t think he has a clue of what I’m really capable of or the talents I possess.

I’ve been grieving because I really do feel a sense of loss. But I wasn’t completely let go. My first boss at the company offered me a position in his department. Though it could be seen as step backwards, and it is financially a 25% pay cut, it’s a job at time when other people have lost their employment completely. I can’t afford to lose my health insurance and other benefits, so I’m grateful to have some income and stability at time that when everything else in the world feels so out of control.

Thank you for following up and asking after me, it really means a lot that you care to know how I’m doing. I’m okay, I’ve been better, but I know someday things will feel good again. {{hugs}} Hope you are healthy and well, too.
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#12
@Sunday16 so sorry that it didn't turn out as you had hoped...but it is still good that you still have a position with health insurance etc etc...and sending you positive thoughts that with time this will be prove to be more than it is now...advancement wise since sounds like you have a better connection with this your first boss. Sending you hugs.
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#18
I’m sorry to hear that things are so hard right now. I can’t image the situational stress that you are feeling, but I know what it’s like to feel vulnerable and unable to trust at your job. It can make the day so daunting on top of the stress you are already feeling from job security and future uncertainly. You are strong for showing up and facing these hard situations. That takes a lot of strength and courage to do that. Hang in there, my friend, and keep talking to us. We are here to support you *grouphug2
 

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