Why am I still here? I know my family, if it wasn't for them I would have killed myself a long time ago but it's getting harder to hold on for them. For the past 20 years I've battled depression, attempted suicide twice but didn't take enough pills and ended up just knocking myself out. I hate my life, I hate my body, I hate myself. I'm always unhappy and no longer get pleasure from anything. My new job has turned into a nightmare, the commute, the deadlines and the people are all getting me stressed and that in combination with depression is all getting too much. I'm constantly worried, anxious and alternate between sadness and anger. I feel so much emotional pain that sometimes I can't stop crying. When I can't control things or get really angry I hurt myself. I can't take all these feelings any more, they are too exhausting and weighing me down. I'm thinking of ending my life more and more now, I just want some peace, to never feel this constant sadness, anger, anxiety and pain.