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Fed up of it all.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by All_Hope_Is_Gone, Feb 28, 2012.

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  1. Why am I still here? I know my family, if it wasn't for them I would have killed myself a long time ago but it's getting harder to hold on for them. For the past 20 years I've battled depression, attempted suicide twice but didn't take enough pills and ended up just knocking myself out. I hate my life, I hate my body, I hate myself. I'm always unhappy and no longer get pleasure from anything. My new job has turned into a nightmare, the commute, the deadlines and the people are all getting me stressed and that in combination with depression is all getting too much. I'm constantly worried, anxious and alternate between sadness and anger. I feel so much emotional pain that sometimes I can't stop crying. When I can't control things or get really angry I hurt myself. I can't take all these feelings any more, they are too exhausting and weighing me down. I'm thinking of ending my life more and more now, I just want some peace, to never feel this constant sadness, anger, anxiety and pain.
  2. MuchLove4God

    MuchLove4God Member

    It is a testimony of your strength and love for your family that you have battled such difficult things for so long. I don't know what the "right" things to say are - I can only share what I've been through. I've been through most of what you wrote about. I just want you to know you are not alone. I found out each time I won "a battle" - that I was so much stronger than I thought I was. I began to realize that so much of what I had been through enabled me to help others. To understand them on a level that only someone who had walked in their shoes could. Maybe the same is true for you? My feelings lied to me... I began to realize that sometimes there was a big disconnect between what I felt, and what was true. I'm new to this board and this is my first post... so please forgive me if I have said or done anything "wrong". I am somewhat new to the internet and totally technologically handicapped. What I do have is a genuine heart that is filled with compassion. I have an inner strength I'd love to share with anyone who is feeling weak at the moment. I'd love to help you keep your fight- or get your fight back- whatever the case may be. Please feel welcome to contact me and I will do my best to share with you the coping skills I've learned. Stay strong! And keep fighting! Keep reaching out! You will eventually find your way. Take care and stay safe~ your new friend, Angel (that's my real name lol not some corny username I decided to use)
  3. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I can relate to some of how you feel. I also hate my life, hate myself/body, and don't find happiness in anything either.

    I'm not living for my family though. They will get over it- if they even care in the first place.
  4. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I know how you feel, I too cry and cry, I am also fed-up, with myself, I wish I had the right words to encourage you. but keep holding on, your not alone.
  5. Thanks everyone for your words! I've been trying to be positive but it's really hard.

    I haven't been at work since Tuesday as I called in sick, I couldn't emotionally cope with work last week, tomorrow I have to go in, wish I didn't but have so many deadlines. I need to find the strength to survive tomorrow. I'm just worried that I'm going to have a total meltdown.
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