fed up! *TRIGGER*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meagainstme, Feb 25, 2007.

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  1. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    im so fucking fed up of being so nice to people.
    i dont know why i bother.
    i know i sound selfish, but why the hell am i being so nice to everyone else and being so nasty to myself?
    do i deserve this?
    do i deserve to feel this pain?
    i guess i do. but i dont think other people deserve my kindness.

    gosh i sound like a right idiot right now. but i do try so hard to make people happy and care so much about them. but it just gets shoved back in my face.

    i really dont have the energy to be nice to them all anymore. im exhausted myself just trying to keep myself alive, i dont think i can care anymore.

    ive lost all hope.

    gosh. im just bitter now.

    im sorry for posting so much. its the only place i can get things out of me.

    urgh. i can feel the end is near.
    ive been holding on for so long, but i know im losing grip.
    my bitterness is my next step towards my suicide being the right time.

    fuck. i hate this world.
    i hate how ive been treated. i hate the way other people get treated. theres so many fucked up things going on. why the hell would anyone want to live here???

    really. ive got nothing left in me anymore. i am empty.
    i need to cut to see if i am still alive. but i dont have the energy to even do that.

    im questioning my life. WHY am i here. i literally can not think of ONE reason.
  2. zusanna

    zusanna Active Member

    i'm sorry.. it really sounds like you are frustrated and dealing with a lot right now. if you'd like to talk, send me a PM. i'm here for you, and i think it would be good for both of us.

    also... i thought this smiley was really funny and the more i look at it, the more it cheers me up. ahehe. :yeah:
  3. what next

    what next New Member

    I feel the exact same way. Personally, when I'm feeling like crap like I do now and hate myself, it helps to do what I can for others to somehow make their lives easier. Problem is that it is entirely too easy to be walked all over and end up being screwed in the end.

    Believe me, you are not alone in your line of thinking. The world does kind of suck, I think a lot of us are jealous of those that just take it for what it is and can that can put themselves first once in a while.

    Hang in there...
  4. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    If a good life were able to be achieved by simply deserving it, then Jesus would have had the best life ever. Let's face it, it's not about what you deserve. Life is about trying to do the best you can and trying not to allow difficult circumstances change the way you yourself behave towards others. You are only responsible for your own behavior. You only have to answer for yourself.
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