fed up with life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by breakdown girl, Dec 3, 2011.

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  1. breakdown girl

    breakdown girl New Member

    i'm really fed up with life. The holiday season is always hard for me. My family lives out of state and we really have'nt had a good Christmas since we moved to Florida. We lived here 3 years now, thinking we were starting a new life....HA!! This year I've been in the hospital 2 times due to depression/anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I tried to commit suicide 4 years ago by overdosing and almost succeeded. I'm on prescription medication and see a psych doctor once a month. My adult son moved in with us and is not doing anything to better himself and my daughter got released from jail 6 months ago for a drug charge and theft. Needless to say, she has'nt found a job either. I'm paying for her drug classes and restitution, just to keep her out of jail. The stress from her being in jail sent me to the hospital the last time. I work part-time but my hours keep getting cut due to the economy. The Christmas money my husband and I set aside for the holiday was stolen. I'm so depressed right now all I want to do is give up. Everyday I have to fight to stay on this Earth and I'm tired of fighting. Going to the stores or even watching the Christmas commercials on tv makes me angry and sad. It would be so easy to just end everything. Tonight I set on the bed and counted my pills just thinking how nice it would be not to have to deal with all this crap. I know I will never grow to be a ripe old age, my life will end sooner than it should, this I know for sure. If things have'nt change by now, it not going too and I can't deal with much more. My husband and I never have any time together and when we do were both so streesed due to the kids and lack of money. Everything I used to love, I now feel resentful. I wish you all a good life, however I believe my time is about finished.
     
  2. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. Money helps but it doesn't solve every problem. You may not be able to provide a good Christmas for your family but I'm sure any Christmas with you in it is better than any lousy Christmas with you gone. Christmas doesn't have to just be about gifts, a large part of it should be about spending time around those you love.

    Anyway welcome to the forums and I wish you the best.
     
  3. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. Money helps but it doesn't solve every problem. You may not be able to provide a good Christmas for your family but I'm sure any Christmas with you in it is better than any lousy Christmas with you gone. Christmas doesn't have to just be about gifts, a large part of it should be about spending time around those you love.

    Anyway welcome to the forums and I wish you the best.
     
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