Fed up..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Beka, Feb 1, 2013.

  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I'm so fed up of everything at the moment.

    My mum's being great at letting me deal with all of this now she knows. Asking how I am but not over-doing it.

    I'm fed up of feeling the way I do. I just want this mental health assessment to hurry up not so that I can be diagnosed with something but so it's over and done with and so I don't have to constantly think about it and worry what will come of it.

    It feels like eternal hell. I don't know what I'm going to feel like. One minute I'll be happy, full of energy, the next I'll want to scream at someone for sitting next to me on the bus or something. I get so angry it sucks. It's probably a good thing I have some sort of self-control over that stuff. I'll talk to myself in my head like it's someone else saying it to me. Just a manipulative little voice telling me how I should act and how I shouldn't.

    Wanting to die and not going anywhere near it because I feel too much guilt over hurting the ones I love.

    Feeling so angry over things I know I shouldn't get angry about.

    Feeling like I'm not in control of myself.

    The only comfort I have ever had is this little voice. I know it;s in my head and I know it's all me. But it's the only comfort I have.

    I don't know. I feel odd about this assessment, I know I should do it and I will. But the only problem is the speaking part. I'm a stubborn little cow when I want to be.
    Would they let me write down answers to their questions instead of answering them out loud? I don't want to start crying because I've had to say it out loud..
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You could have a pen and paper ready just in case hun some doctors will let you write out your response some will want to hear them I hope the assessment goes well hun and you get support you need
  3. dizgrace

    dizgrace Member

    Hey have they said when your assessment is yet? If you want someone to come along, even if its just waiting outside, then ill be there :)