Fed Up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mentalhealthnurse, Aug 14, 2016.

  1. mentalhealthnurse

    mentalhealthnurse Well-Known Member

    Finally got out of bed after a struggle. Today's angst caused by feelings of not being good enough. I'm plain, boring, pointless and not fun, attractive or exciting enough for my husband. Perhaps it says more about what he needs or wants from life that he cheats consistently and uses chat sites to meet woman who are far more attractive than me. I messaged one of them and told her he was marrie. Her pity for me made me want to kill myself there and then. He promised to make it up and that he'd prove he loved me. I still go to bed on my own and he stays up long into the night. I don't understand how he can say he loves me and doesn't want to loose me. This is just one of my problems that happens to be getting to me right now. This feeling of being low and done just isn't leaving. I feel like I'm hanging on for something but I don't know what. Maybe I'm just waiting for the right time to leave this life or maybe somethings still to happen that will change things I don't know. The markers move often. One for living and one for suicide.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi @mentalhealthnurse I think you are fun, clever and have a good sense of humour. I'm so sorry he cheats on you. You deserve better than that, much better. I think you need to either get marriage counselling or sort the issues out between ye. How did he prove he loved you (like he said he would)? Other than the cheating, how has the relationship/living situation been? We're here for you :)
  3. mentalhealthnurse

    mentalhealthnurse Well-Known Member

    He hasn't actually done anything yet to prove he loves me. We don't argue, we get on well, I thought we had a good strong relationship all round but he just seems to always want something more. I'm just not enough for him.x
  4. Agirlwhosad

    Agirlwhosad Member

    Hello . By your post and words you really do seem like cool girl and quick witted :) And you seem like you truly love the guy. And also you're in a super dark place. I am in no way condoning what he does but I do believe that under the right circumstances we should all be given a second chance because we are all flawed as hell as human beings but the truth is if you have any hope of saving your marriage you need to save yourself first girl. Do little things you used to do for yourself when you guys were first getting together. Like when you wake up get dresses into something cute that makes you feel good. Try to get out and get your nails done. I know it seems superficial saying this in a way but I think when we women make ourselves look better it does something to the way we feel about ourselves. Anyway when you start to feel better about yourself sit down with him and open up tell him what your heart feels. And as much as he has hurt you I can only end this post with one thing.....i do believe forgiveness is a last act of love. It is possible to come out of what you guys are going through. Dont give up girly!
  5. Depression pushes others away even further bcuz not everyone knows what to do for that person or how to handle it especially when the person feels they are the reason/ cause . Focus on urself for a little, do things to cheer yourself up then when ur feeling better have the talk
  6. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    This sounds crazy-doesn't make sense, but it works. When I get fixated on someone in my life who I believe is failing me and-or lying to me, letting me down, etc. I take all of that energy I'm using to accuse them of not being good enough and focus it on making myself feel better. I can't control what another person does-I can just control myself (most of the time at least). Oddly, I've found that when I stop giving the other person shit and just focus on my own life and making things better for myself, the other person usually comes around to my side, starts having respect for me and things get much better. Just a bit of advise from someone whose been there. Good luck-LT :)