Fed up

[sadhart]

I'm sorry but I'm tired of living. I'm weak and worthless and there is too much pain. I'm sorry for sounding dramatic and pathetic.

 

[Lara_C]

You're not dramatic or pathetic @sadhart and we know your pain is real and feels unbearable and I hope you keep posting. You are just worn down by too much suffering and deserve some rest and respite. I hope all your friends and well wishers here can convince you that you matter to us and that you deserve peace in your life.

 

[sadhart]

You're not dramatic or pathetic @sadhart and we know your pain is real and feels unbearable and I hope you keep posting. You are just worn down by too much suffering and deserve some rest and respite. I hope all your friends and well wishers here can convince you that you matter to us and that you deserve peace in your life.

Every time I try to believe that life worth going on with, something happens that reminds me that it isn't. Yesterday marked two and a half years of sobriety. I want to see this as a good thing but I'm just so tired of lying to myself. This has been another disheartening week and just see no hope that things will get better. I'm sorry for sounding ungrateful.

 

[tlaud]

Every time I try to believe that life worth going on with, something happens that reminds me that it isn't. Yesterday marked two and a half years of sobriety. I want to see this as a good thing but I'm just so tired of lying to myself. This has been another disheartening week and just see no hope that things will get better. I'm sorry for sounding ungrateful.

I will say I have had my bout with alcohol years ago, and 2.5 years is quite positive. I hope things move forward.

 

[MisterBGone]

Keep going. . . You’ve already accomplished a great deal, and deserve to see things improve significantly! You can do it—

 

[GMody]

You are not weak and worthless as you have been sober for more than 2 years. Why is there pain? You don't sound ungrateful. Why disheartening week? Are you on medications? If so which ones? Have you tried therapy? You have any close friends or relatives you can talk to.

 

[1964dodge]

i think that you being sober for 2 1/2 years is an amazing feat, that is very hard to do. so please be proud of what you accomplished. and recovery isn't a straight road it has many detours. when things turn bad try to ride it out and celebrate any good days. if you ever want to talk feel free to inbox me...mike...

 

[KM76710]

I agree with the comments above, that many years is something to be pleased with yourself for.

 

[sadhart]

You are not weak and worthless as you have been sober for more than 2 years. Why is there pain? You don't sound ungrateful. Why disheartening week? Are you on medications? If so which ones? Have you tried therapy? You have any close friends or relatives you can talk to.

The pain is from various things. Overall, I just don't feel that I matter.

I don't take medication. I've had negative experiences with them. But I do talk to a therapist. She's okay to talk to but it's hard to share with her my feelings of ending my life as I don't want to get in trouble or get locked up or something. It's not easy to talk to family with my pain.

 

[tlaud]

The pain is from various things. Overall, I just don't feel that I matter.

I don't take medication. I've had negative experiences with them. But I do talk to a therapist. She's okay to talk to but it's hard to share with her my feelings of ending my life as I don't want to get in trouble or get locked up or something. It's not easy to talk to family with my pain.

I want to follow up after saying "Hello" two days ago. Here is something to consider only, not a recommendation.....that if you have anyone to have a discussion with outside of a therapist or family, it may open a door that has been held shut for a while. I've seen that door open, and even though it will probably be uncomfortable, your sobriety gives you more power to move forward.

Hang in there sadhart. You have support here.