Fed Up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JayUK, Aug 13, 2008.

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  1. JayUK

    JayUK New Member

    Hi All,

    I am 24, male, from the UK. Currently I have so much going for me as I am off to university this year to study Computer Science. I am looking forward to it.

    The problem thats eating away at the moment is anxiety. I have it really bad, to the extent where I am scared I am going to die. Usually I will check my pulse various times a day or check that my eyes are ok and that I am not going blind. My anxiety sometimes stops me traveling also.

    Recently I have been getting suicidle over it. I keep thinking to myself "If i buy a gun and shoot myself it will be over so quickly and no more worry".

    I really feel like this at the moment. In the past I have been through a lot and have been homeless before. In the past I used to cut the tops of my wrists to get the feel for pain, and once I cut real deep. I also had an eating disorder and used to force myself to be sick every time I ate.

    Life just does my head in at the moment. I am sick of the anxiety. Its causing so many problems.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Jay,
    I too cut. I haven't been doing much of it lately. I wish my shrink would prescribe valium, or xanex! I keep telling him about my anxiety! He says I don't show it.
    I hold it all in. Right now I feel like a mummy. My meds he put me on are messing with my head. I don't feel safe about driving. I am lightheaded I keep getting body rushes, and it is affecting my vision. I have to drive my daughter around looking for work.
    with luck they will find a combo of meds that work. The ones I take I have cut them in half and started taking them earlier, so they will be o.k. Right now I feel like my whole body is rushing one right after the other.. I hope you find the correct dosage. Stay Safe...
  3. A Self Made Loser

    A Self Made Loser Active Member

    I too am a 24 yr old male and will be studying Computer Science at uni next September (Give me time to get my head together, if I last that long.) I suffer with the overwhelming feeling of anxiety, as I write this my anxiety is so bad I getting a panic attack and shortness of breath, I fear life but question its point.

    When you get in that mind set nothing means anything or matters. Modern society is all about social engineering and control. But to get through life you have to play within civilised rules.

    I’m at the edge myself again, I do think it’s only a matter of time now that I muster the strength the end the misery. I find myself feeling somewhat envious when reading in newspapers about people who have been able to go through with suicide and end their own personal misery. In honesty I myself would like to live and enjoy life but I’m just looking for the reset button so I could start again as a different person - (Wouldn't we all?!)

    I suffer with severe interferer complex, it’s hard to be around people like my friends because everyone is better than me and always will be which of course brings out anxiety even more. Just get that feeling I want to run and crawl under a rock and die there.
  4. jerrin

    jerrin Guest

    geez i freakking know rightt
    i mean they act like they are all higha dn mighty and smart because they are going against us, retardeddd its so annoying!!!!!!!
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hey guys, I'm a 27 year old male. You know it is possible to get over social anxiety. I used to get very nervious in large crouds or even when going out places. But at some point I just said to myself that I'm going to go out an enjoy myself sometimes and it doesn't bother me as much anymore. It's ok to go out and have fun sometimes.
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