I am seriously so fed up of this. I'm so fed up of being me. The worst part about all of this is that to get better i have to take responsibility for myself, but that is so damn hard to do! And i don't even think it is worth it! I hate the depression and anger (okay sometimes i love the anger but whatever), but i look at other people around me and even those that are supposed to be okay aren't really. Life isn't about sunshine and happiness, it is basically about getting through. Everything looks so damn ugly i hate to look at it. I don't care about anything anymore....except why the heck am i putting myself through this? In most situations i take control, but i can't take control of my life. I can't just forget all this and be normal. I'm so fed up of it all. What is the point in sleeping because it only brings about another crappy day? What is the point in waking up when it only means more to endure? You know what i really hate, i hate these words. I hate reading these words. I hate seeing so many people in pain, not particually because i feel anything towards them, but i'm sick of seeing so many people enduring for the sake of it. I'm not advocating suicide, just the pathetic-ness of this life. I hate my pathetic words, i'd really rather not say them. I'd really rather not say anything at all. But unfortunately i'm stuck being human and part of that is having the ability to whine. I don't think i have a mental illness. I doubt highly this is depression. I think this is pure realisation that the world is complete sh*t and life ain't worth it. Urg i hate it when people say that, i want to yell at them to get over themselves, and yet here i am saying it. I am an embarrassment.