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fed up

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fed up of parents
fed up of 'friends'
fed up of hurting
fed up of feeling mad, anxious and hopeless which also leads to...
fed up of feeling weak and unable to control my urges of self harm.
fed up of being alone
fed up of crying myself to sleep almost everynight
fed up of being ignored
fed up of waking up everyday
fed up of breathing
fed up of being here

fed up, fed up, fed up.............................. just fed up.
but whatever it's not like it matters. Yesterday I thought my mum wanted me out of her life but little did i know her epilepsy is getting worse and is having more seizures so the doctor has given her more 'antieptic' medication to try and calm her fits and now she isn't allowed outside on her own which means i can't meet her in town which also means my dad has an excuse to be nasty.. today i went up to her house for a few hours and i came home and my dad said, 2since you come home you've been disagreeing with everything i said". which isn't true but i didn't say it wasn't because that would start him off again... for fucks sake.. i am fed up with EVERYTHING. Today i discovered a new method of self harm which doesn't invole cutting but it sure as hell hurts and marks but hopefully won't scar. Probably will but my body can do what the heck it wants to. i am past caring.


please dont do this to yourself, we all care for you, even though you think that we dont. :hug::hug::hug:
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