feeble and pathetic attempts

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by magic1, Mar 8, 2008.

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  1. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    I read on my lj friends lj that her rl friend took <Mod Edit - methods> that wound her in the hospital for 2 weeks. <Mod Edit - methods>
    I can't stand my life.
    I tried again, too <Mod Edit - methods> pills. I got sick for 2 days. <Mod Edit - methods>
    I usually talk more emotionally but I'm quite numb at the moment.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2008
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hi there ...

    I've edited some of your post, due to specific amounts and names etc, being included :hug:
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi magic1, welcome.

    nobody here will give you methods, we want you to live!

    i am truly sorry to read that you are in such despair right now. i'll be here to listen if you want to share?

    it's natural to feel numb after an attempt, it's an awful experience. can you tell anyone what you did?

    catherine
     
  4. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    Please, I really want an easy way out, and I don't want to use <Mod Edit - methods>. This will be making things EASIER dpn't you see? I did it last a month ago more or less. The numbness is jst me blocking out thoughts. Thanks, though there are a lot of people for tht. I know what;s wrong, I just need a miracle or someone to rescue me
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2008
  5. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    As Catherine said, we won't give you any methods - this is a pro-life site.

    What's making you feel like this? :hug:
     
  6. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    I will find a way. I will. My whole life is messed up an dit keeps spiralling down. In a nut shell, my wole family is screwed up, we're seven people not meant to live together touhgh we do. Our mom is like the KING. She frightens me. Literally. I can't get out of the house. I have time limits on the ocmputer and have to be careful when someone's around and I have to hide to READ. So basically there is never anything for me to do. And I think of the future an dall I see is this for the rest of my life.
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    magic, it's one of the symptoms of depression that our thinking gets tangled and it seems like right now will be forever... but that's not true. you will have your own place one day, with all the freedoms that provides, like being online 24/7 if you like!

    i believe you when you write how screwed up your family is... but one day you will be able to escape them, and until then, let us help you figure out how to survive it

    here's hoping you will stick around...

    catherine
     
  8. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    I won't be able to escape. She'll never let me go. I want to get out of here RIGHT now. I wish I had friends who were up for running away but my friends aren't like that. actally most of my friends are uite happy.
     
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    if it's not too rude, can i ask how old you are? i ask only because it can mean you have different options, legally, for getting away from your negative home environment.

    if you are in high school, for instance, or working, or in college you would have different choices available. please believe me, in addition to suicide or running away, there are other options. we can help you figure them out,

    catherine
     
  10. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    I'm 16 at the moment. I'm constantly looking around me looking for ways to kill myself. Which pills? how many? I think i might just have to end up...using a knife or something. Can elasitcs do anything?
    what would happen if I tied an elastic to my arm and let it stay there even when my arm was bgining to numb and turn purple?
     
  11. Joshuwah

    Joshuwah Well-Known Member

    You'd lose your arm, most probably that's all that would happen.
     
  12. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    magic, please don't hurt yourself, you have suffered enough already.

    if you are in the usa or canada you can call covenant house
    http://www.nineline.org/
    1-800-999-9999

    they will answer the phone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

    please try and make that call?

    catherine
     
  13. Pensive

    Pensive Well-Known Member

    Magic, know what your going through exactly. If you can push yourself to take the first step and phone a confidential phoneline, or go talk with your doctor about it, its very much worth it. Anything you tell them will be in strictist confidence.
     
  14. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    I dont need a doctor. I need to get ot of here. Out of this family. NOW...bcause the rzor seems more and more welcoming each minute

    catherine I'll try and call. though does it charge us? because il get into DEEP trouble then. and ill have to wait til someones alone. i live in montreal, canada
    thats an easy enough number to remember
     
  15. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Magic, the call is free and confidental.
    Please try and make that call.
     
  16. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    There is a covenant house in toronto, also have a 1 800 number.
    It is 1-800-435-7308, I give you this in case you cannot get through to the other number (it's in the USA but it's supposed to work in North America)....

    1-800 numbers are free, and will not even show up on your phone bill, so if you can nab the phone for a little bit and make that call nobody will know,

    Catherine
     
  17. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    I have another number for you, in Canada:

    Kids Help Phone
    1-800-668-6868
    www.Kidshelp.sympatico.ca

    Kids Help Phone is Canada's only national, bilingual, 24-hour, toll-free confidential and anonymous phone and web counseling, referral and information service for children and youth.

    :)
     
  18. hirondelle

    hirondelle Member

    Magic1, I am so sorry that you feel so driven towards ending your life, and it can seem at times in life that there is no other option but there are always other options other than killing yourself, and in any case you may survive your attempt and have even more problems to deal with. As you are 16 you may think there is no one for you to talk to but there are counsellors and voluntary groups who could support you and help you to find alternative solutions to your problems. Your doctor may be able to suggest some people who could help. I have tried to kill myself several times and for different reasons I have survived and life is never the same as it was before, it is even more difficult. it doesn't do anything except maybe help you understand how your environment is affecting you. But environments can be altered, changed, but once you are dead you are dead. I hope you will use the internet to find some pro-life help, but it will probably be someone closer to home who you can talk to and find a support group to help you. You are not alone, this site proves that there are many others who have felt or feel how you are feeling now. Suicidal feelings are the result of unbearable emotional pain, they are a sign that tells you that you need to get help, go to your doctor, nurse, the samaritans, mental health agencies, youth group workers, a teacher, a friend, somewhere there is a person just waiting to help you.

    Warmest wishes

    Hirondelle
     
  19. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    im not allowed out of the house. im sneaking on the computer right now
     
  20. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't expect any real help from this site. People here just blindly want you to stay alive. They don't care how bad your life seems to you, they just want you to not die. I'm different. I'm not pro-suffering. I say that you have the right to feel however you feel and that it's NOT your fault that you are the way you are.

    Unfortunately, because you're a minor, you are nothing to anyone who could help. The law will generally tell you that you cannot make decisions for yourself, and that any medical information will have to be shared with your parents. No one will touch you without a parent's consent.
     
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