This is my first post on here and to be fair I feel a bit of a fraud as although I think everyday about <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> I know most likely in reality I'd be too scared to go through with it. I've had panic and anxiety for about 2years now...I was in bad relationship that was on off on off for years and that triggered it, I spend 1 year in CBT and I came out the other end feeling great and spent the next 5-6 months feeling back to my old self. However my ex got back in touch and we decided to see how things would go, everything was great at first and then I was terrified things would go bad again so I started being a bit mean to my partner. I guess you could say I was trying to test them to see if they really loved me or not but fast forward 3-4 months we have not seen each other in weeks and we fight constantly over txt, in the process I've been made redundant from my job and can't find anything else yet. So I have no job and ex/partner that keeps telling me they love me but I've changed and made them not want to be with me. So I feel like there is nothing in my life worth keeping me here. It sounds really silly when I explain it but the hurt in my body right now is unbearable. Thanks for reading.