Feel betrayed by mother and ex

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wondering1, Jan 19, 2015.

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  1. Wondering1

    Wondering1 New Member

    I've had issues with anxiety/depression for at least the last 10 years or so. It's a factor into why my fiancé decided he didn't want to be with me anymore.

    I moved out of our shared apartment (back living with my mother) and was paying monthly even though I didn't live there. He told me he was moving out so the leasing office could try to fill our spot, but went back on it. Once I found this out, I told him I wouldn't be sending my portion of the rent anymore. He acts like he'll be homeless, but with his job, he can afford the whole months rent by himself.

    He called my mother to complain to her about me not sending money, hoping to get some out of her. I asked her to ignore his call (she didnt pick up) and to please not speak with him, and she agreed not to. He was abusive and overall just not a nice person a good percentage of the time. THING IS...she called him the next day behind my back.

    She claims to not remember most of the conversation, but it basically boiled down to him trying to call me out for things I did in the relationship and him complaining about maybe being homeless, which I know he will not be, he just doesnt care to budget.

    THAT was enough to annoy me but she went on to say that she told him I was going to therapy in hopes to make him feel guilty. But he wasn't guilty. He's happy. He had already been dragging my name through the mud on Facebook, and I just had mutual friend tell me he's posting about my therapy and making fun of me with our ex-coworkers (we worked at the same place).

    I feel SO betrayed by my mother. She knows he wasn't a good man, but went behind my back and tried to make HIM feel better about his situation. She was the only other person I was close to and thought I could trust. Had I not asked if she spoke to him, she never would have told me.

    I currently can't even go to the store by myself without having a panic attack, and she was the only one there for me. I feel humiliated and betrayed by her. Of all people I had left, it was just her. And here she is breaking my trust just like he did throughout the whole relationship. She's acting like everything is fine and I'm overreacting. But I feel differently. I was always close to her and never imagined her comforting the guy who hit me, spit in my face, threatened to hurt my animals, etc. The fact she gave him the time of day KILLS me.

    My ex told me the other day he wants me to die alone, soon, and miserable, as I made him feel this way the entire relationship apparently. I left my dream job because I couldn't stand to be around him after he gave up on me and all the lies I discovered. I am now jobless in a town I HATE with absolutely nothing going on but I can not get myself to go do anything.

    I am seeing a therapist but I feel she isn't doing much and I feel she isn't listening to me when I'm just trying to sort out feelings BEFORE I can even dream about working on myself. I feel like I have no one to talk to who gives a crap anymore or someone I could even MAYBE trust. My ex was the one I went to for everything. Then my mother. She was always there. Now I don't even want to see her but I LIVE with her and just want to go away.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to see that you are suffering as a result of a relationship breakdown. You need to ignore the hurt caused by the offensive comments on facebook. I strongly recommend that you remove yourself from face as your true friends will understand.
    Your EX is causing you unnecessary mental anguish which is hard to ignore. Perhaps you can tell your mum not pick the phone. You are right in that if the relationship has broken down you no need to pay any rent unless your name is added to the lease contract.

    I understand you are down but remember you are not the only one as others join this forum for the same reasons. You need to see your therapist and talk through the situation. Please stay strong and keep posting for the morale support you deserve. Be safe and care.
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