Feel guilty.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Samsara, Nov 11, 2009.

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  1. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    My girlfriend and I both have issues with suicidal feelings. I feel bad though, because I am still intensely battling mine. She seems to not be suicidal anymore, but I still have to take steps to not feel like killing myself.

    I am therefore compelled to express my feelings, but I do it so often because I feel suicidal so often. I get the feeling that I bringing too much negativity to the table, and that she will tire of it, even though we are supposed to be supporting each other. I'm afraid to keep sharing my dark feelings with her because she might leave me, but I'm afraid to hold it in.

    I just don't know. I've asked her about it, but I think she might be giving me a line to make me feel better. I don't know, but it stresses me :(
  2. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    It's okay to talk about your feelings with her but if it's constantly negative she will probably leave you, because no one wants to be with a negative person. Post here and let your feelings out, we won't judge you.

    Or, you can try and turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Turn "I feel like dying" into "I need to change my life", turn " I feel sad" into "I'm trying to be happy" and so on.
  3. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    I understand what you mean when you say, maybe she's just giving you a line to make you feel better. The only way you're going to know is by constantly checking - if you end up hiding your own feelings you'll end up being less open with her and possibly resentful and that will only threaten the relationship. I'd say you really need to keep talking about how you feel, and get her to talk to you about she feels as well. Keep talking. trying to pretend you don't feel bad is so not a good idea!
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Keep posting here too as this is an additional place to express the things you need to say. I recommend checking in with her about how she feels inside herself, about herself too. I can seem to be fine for a good period of time when things are actually building up inside of me.

    I can lose sight of being supportive when I myself need support. I glad you two have each other. That is a good thing. I've learned that when times feel tough that my hubby and I have 3 choices.

    We can turn to each other, away from each other, or against each other. When things are tough I repeat it out loud to my hubby. We choose to turn to each other every time.

  5. Abi_21

    Abi_21 Well-Known Member

    things will get better, just keep thinking positivly and it will get better.
  6. jacknife

    jacknife Guest

    No, life is spontaneous. Things may get worse, then they may improve after awhile, then they'll inevitably turn to shit again, etc.

    Just keep thinking.
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    She may still be battling with her own issues too. And possibly is feeling the same as you. I agree that you need to keep the communication open. But maybe not giving her all your negative stuff all the time. Like Tobes said, try rewording it a little differently. You're still being honest but with a little twist. If it means less stress for you and the relationship then it cant be seen as deceiving.

    And the really negative stuff, the things you feel may be upsetting to her, then yes definitely post them here. I know she undertands your feelings and wants to support you, but it may be a little much for her because of her own feelings. So when things seem really hairy, post them here and let us help. Then maybe they wont be as bad and then you might want to share them with her once you've got some feedback from members here.

    It's a really difficult situation but it sounds like you've got a pretty solid relationship. Keep helping one another. And keep getting all the support and help you can from here too.
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