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Feel like a weak minded person

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#1
Hey guys I've been dealing with minor bullying at work for around 6 months now and I'm feeling so disappointed in myself that I rarely stick up for myself or confront these people. I think it's because I make a lot of silly mistakes, not major or anything but depending on my colleagues' moods they can go absolutely over the top and make me feel so small. Because I deal with low self esteem and feel like I'm not good enough or I'm embarrassed when I make mistakes I don't say anything. I made a stupid mistake today that made no sense and instead of them making a joke of it (it really doesn't matter at all) they both went mad saying I don't listen properly but these people make me so nervous that I find it hard to concentrate.

Anyways just looking for some reassurance that I'm not a total blubbering idiot, you guys are my lifeline when family and friends don't understand.
 

sadhart

SF Supporter
#4
I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. I can relate in that I felt that way not just with my current job at times, but with past ones. It isn't okay for them to treat you that way and it's pretty hypocritical of them because I'm sure they make mistakes as well.
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#5
I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. I can relate in that I felt that way not just with my current job at times, but with past ones. It isn't okay for them to treat you that way and it's pretty hypocritical of them because I'm sure they make mistakes as well.
Thank you, I needed that
 

Marga

Well-Known Member
#6
If you don't feel like confronting them directly, which I totally understand, isn't there anyone else at work you could turn to and ask for help? E.g. your boss?
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#7
If you don't feel like confronting them directly, which I totally understand, isn't there anyone else at work you could turn to and ask for help? E.g. your boss?
My area manger is aware of the situation but I've yet to make a formal complaint as I still have to work with these people. I'm being moved to a different branch after Christmas and considering making a formal complaint then
 

Marga

Well-Known Member
#8
My area manger is aware of the situation but I've yet to make a formal complaint as I still have to work with these people. I'm being moved to a different branch after Christmas and considering making a formal complaint then
That's great! So actually you did stand up for yourself when you told your area manager. You can be proud of that. I know how hard it is to confront people face to face. Maybe this would even be more efficient. If someone wants to be mean, they often stay so even if you tell them you don't like their behaviour. And when you move to a different branch, you won't be working with them anymore, right?
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#9
Yeah not long to go now! I agree that these colleagues are like this for a reason and me confronting them would make no difference or even make things worse
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#10
You are no idiot and this is a good safe place to vent a bit. There are often times I like the fact that people tend to stay out of my way and don't want to attract my attention.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#11
Take this with a grain of salt since I got fired from the job where I did this. I basically showed no emotional reaction to any "bullying" (I prefer the term harsh and partially unproductive criticism) so they never "tasted blood" since it's boring and impossible to intimidate or demoralize a rock. I made the same mistake three times once, so this guy got upset and wrote down "DO NOT DO X" on my workbench. Because of my non-existent emotional response (btw this guy was HUGE, like 6'6 250lbs, pretty cool) I could even pretend to make the same mistake a fourth time, flipping the situation. By doing this I showed that I had superior emotional control, wit and had actually understood what he was trying to communicate. Maybe try something like that if possible.
 

Marilyn1962

Well-Known Member
#13
Take this with a grain of salt since I got fired from the job where I did this. I basically showed no emotional reaction to any "bullying" (I prefer the term harsh and partially unproductive criticism) so they never "tasted blood" since it's boring and impossible to intimidate or demoralize a rock. I made the same mistake three times once, so this guy got upset and wrote down "DO NOT DO X" on my workbench. Because of my non-existent emotional response (btw this guy was HUGE, like 6'6 250lbs, pretty cool) I could even pretend to make the same mistake a fourth time, flipping the situation. By doing this I showed that I had superior emotional control, wit and had actually understood what he was trying to communicate. Maybe try something like that if possible.
Good for you, it takes guts to do that! In my line of work (funerals) it would be hard to come up with something like that but I understand what you mean. If only I could act unemotional but I wear my heart on my sleave it's awful
 

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