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feel like breaking

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lotte, Jan 18, 2014.

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  1. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    I honestly think i might break any minute and commit suicide. i am so anxious and feel very violent. i feel very bad and there are like shots of pain running through my entire body, but i think it has to do with my feelings. i'm trying to calm down, dont know what to do, have absolutely noone to talk to. i cant take it, why noone cares about me. all i can see is pain, and it isnt fair for me to punished in the afterlife because of the shit i've been through. f*** F*** F***. I'm done. dont know, just dont even know, why the hell people treat me this way. tell them to f*** off, i dont have any friends or anyone to reach out to. i'm done being on the internet and real life, like the flash flood, and clear pannel vortex. i dont know what the hell i'm doing. why i am so bad. why do they hurt me. i have bad visions. kill me. i try not to mention all of the methods and visions in my head. but i dont know. hurt me. the world feels bad and scary. i feel a lot of pressure in my chest. i'm sorry. i try to keep it together.
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    well, you're reaching out here and that's good
    try some breathing exercises, concentrate on the breathing in itself to clear your mind
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi lotte i hear your pain and sadness and i am sorry you are feeling so alone with it. You can talk here ok let out the pain some here and if it gets worse you phone someone and talk ok
    Crisis line people are good listeners and will be able to guide you to some supports hugs
  4. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    sorry, it is just hard. i'm still trying, long night, still feel completely alone. i just wish there was someone here with me. thanks for replying. my body moves too slow for my anxious mind. trying not to self harm.
  5. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    there is help!

    you are talking here.

    you mention the afterlife....can you talk to someone at a church...any church...there will be a compasionate heart there if you ask.
  6. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    i dont really like churches to be honest, but i guess i could give it a try, there was a new one i was thinking about trying out.
  7. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    i honestly dont know if i'm ever going to get rid of this intense urge to commit suicide, it's been almost three days now, i thought it was easing up, but i dont know tonight, my reasoning still stands with not having any real life supports, friends, relationships. there is this focus in my head that i cant get out of it right now, but too much in a state to do anything about it really. cant calm myself down or make myself feel better, every tiny thing i seem to do creates this friction, this extra pressure, and i dont know how to get out of this because my normal coping skills arent working and i'm somehow exhausted and anxious at the same time. i guess i have to keep trying new ideas or different things, but i need some relief. this environment isnt working out, but cant leave right now.
  8. TriumphRider

    TriumphRider Member

    I know the feeling brother, the heavy weight on ur chest....short of breath. The anger and frustration making you want to climb out of your own skin. No friends, loved ones don't understand. I was there an still am, trying to find someone to relate to was and still is nearly impossible.

    While our situations in life maybe very different.....many of the feelings you describe we share.

    The best advise I can give, use the anger and frustration in a positive way. Use it as fuel to better yourself. We all have our demons. Hell I battle them everyday, but take it day by day. It sounds cliche brother but one day at a time.
  9. SuicideSam

    SuicideSam Banned Member

    Thats how I feel, no anger or frustration just this terrible pressure.

    Try to keep your mind off it, I know its really but everyday you survive is a victory!

    Stay safe and stay strong!
  10. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    lotte....have you tried the new church you mentioned.

    please do give it a chance
  11. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I would second that lotte, and also what TriumphRider says - there are things which do sound cliched and so we're tempted to not believe they can work for us or have any power to help us.... but one day at a time, sometimes, 1 minute at a time - to tell yourself that you do have the power, even if you feel powerless you are not helpless. Powerlessness does not = helplessness, there is a difference. We can choose to want to help ourselves even if we feel powerless to do so. Making that choice to help ourselves takes us through the first gate into a different meadow, psychologically speaking :) Nirvana may still seem none the nearer, but you will have made the first step. (The old cliche "The journey of a million miles begins with the first step" - is still true - and we can give ourselves a pat on the back each little step along the way :)
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