feel like giving up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by J-ana, Mar 22, 2015.

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  1. J-ana

    J-ana Member

    I feel so alone....I mean, there are people who care about me - but they aren't there when I really need them and I don't feel I have anyone to turn to to talk about the stuff to get things off my chest. I just sit in those negative feelings or take it out on myself by cutting or drinking. People say I'm strong, but on the inside I am so fragile - no body believes me. I stopped sharing how I feel mostly because I don't feel like I'm heard anyway, and nothing ever gets better. Even my Dr's have given up on me. I make excuses every day to not kill myself - as I know that there is no going back if I do it. I'm not scared. I feel like I can't handle it anymore, but I question if that is the truth; so I hesitate in acting on it. But I'm so tired of trying and don't feel like its worth it anymore. I don't know if I have the strength to continue.
  2. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry you're in such pain right now. You've come to a good place, where people do understand what you are going through and who want to help. It's great you've got people in your life who care for you, though it's tough when those people aren't around when you need them, or don't understand what you are trying to say. What is going on right now that has you so down? Are there specific life issues that are troubling you? Maybe you could talk about them here.

    It's troubling to read your doctors have given up on you. That's a terrible thing to feel - what did they do? If you have come to the end of the road with them, are there other doctors you can seek out? it might be that you need someone with new ideas and expertise.

    Depression is an exhausting disease and it is very tempting to give up. Please keep fighting.
  3. J-ana

    J-ana Member

    There are so many things I'm dealing with....its too overwhelming to tolerate anymore. And I'm tired of trying - whats the point if no one really wants to help and gives up on you anyway? Again, yeah - there are people who maybe care about me, but - where are they when I need help? So I question, how much do they really care? And as far as Dr's go, I have been frequently told that I'm too complicated or they don't have time, but interestingly are often willing to prescribe me something to try and shut me up.....I'm not a med. seeker. That isn't what I want or need. And any physical issue I have - they always chalk it up to a mental problem...that is until they finally run a test, then they find out I'm not all crazy....but most don't even give me the time or listen - they just say sorry they can't help. If I'm not listened to, whats the point in sharing. It doesn't make me feel better - in fact I feel worse. I just can't do it anymore.
  4. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    It seems you're having problems with doctors telling you that legitimate physical complaints are "all in your head". I can understand how infuriating this, having been a migraine sufferer long before migraines were accepted as a legitimate physical disorder. There are still a lot of disorders out there that research hasn't caught up with and some doctors have this subtle way of blaming the patient, rather than just admitting they don't know what to do. It's extraordinarily frustrating dealing with such self-important "healers". They don't listen - they have their minds already made up. I totally understand why you are fed up with talking with them. It was at this point in my own life that I turned to the internet. On top of migraines, I had a hard-to-diagnose chronic pain/fatigue condition for many years and found there were a lot of people out there in the same boat. They were more than happy to swap stories and share info on everything ranging from the latest research to good doctors. Of course you have to pick through the flotsam and actual con artists, but there is a lot of help out there, and you don't need to wait for a doctor to condescend to give it to you.

    I can't tell from your post if you are also having problems with mental health professionals. You write about doctors who try to prescribe something to shut you up - are you talking about a psychiatrist here? Forgive me if I am telling you something you already know, but psychiatrists, at least here in the US, often just manage medication. Many of them are all too eager to whip out the old prescription pad but if you don't want meds, that's absolutely your right. Therapists, usually social workers or psychologists, handle the complicated time consuming aspects of treatment. A good therapist will not tell a client he or she is too complicated. Of course you're complicated - you're a human being. The therapists job is to address those complications - if they're not willing to try, they're in the wrong job.

    Mostly I hear how tired you are. You're banging your head against the wall with the medical profession and your friends haven't been able to help. It is often very hard for people who have never been depressed to know how to help those of us who are. They can actually do more harm than good,no matter how well intentioned. And it does sound like you are depressed, on top of everything else going on. Please keep posting here - you'll find people who care and who are willing to listen.
  5. J-ana

    J-ana Member

    I don't feel like I have a purpose to exist..and even if I did have one, I'm too tired now anyway. I want to give up now..There isn't any help out there for me. I've tried everything I could try.
  6. IJ (it just is)

    IJ (it just is) Well-Known Member

    i know the feeling, i have been feeling sad and lonely the past few days, and when i go through my phone to see which friend i can call, i get to anyone. they wont understand and they will just say the normal cliches and tell me its not so bad. coming here helps but sometimes it makes me feel sadder. cause i can relate to so many and understand their pain.
  7. Jinx_

    Jinx_ Member

    I understand you. But alcohol just makes things worse - believe me, I've been a heavy drinker for years, but I had to stop when I started having serious problems with my health. Alcohol offers you an escape for your problems for a while, but eventually you'll have to face them.
    And most psychiatrists are like that - they don't care, they don't want to listen and just prescribe you medication, so you can leave them alone. They are cynical and incapable of understanding people's problems.
    I don't have friends to talk to, just like you. They all tell me the same thing - it's just a phase, it will pass. You can't blame them, because they probably have no idea what it's like to suffer like this. Everyone thinks I'm a drama queen, but the truth is I don't share even 1% of my feelings. If you want someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I promise I'll listen to you and try to help you. Keep holding on.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I don't have anything to contribute that's not already been said but wanted to say I care and hope you can get through this, sorry you are in so much pain and sorry your doctor has given up on you. You don't deserve to suffer like this.

    ((hugs)) :hug:
  9. J-ana

    J-ana Member

    I told my pcp dr how I felt. Now my choices are inpatient or inpatient.
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