Feel like I'm a useless waste of space

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by catnip43, Sep 7, 2009.

  1. catnip43

    catnip43 Active Member

    Three years ago I had a great job in IT until all the mental crap raised it's ugly head. I haven't been able to work and am applying for disability. I don't know how the hell I got from point A to point B. I used to be cheerful, happy, and outgoing. Now I'm bitter, angry, and hate myself for becoming so pathetic. It's Labor Day and it reminds me of all my high paying jobs I've had, all my friends (who have now deserted me), and just feeling like I had a purpose and goals. Now I see no light at the end of this tunnel. Every day I watch my "survival money" go down the drain. I'm even afraid to turn my thermostat under 80 degrees because of the huge A/C bills.

    I hate myself so much I wish I had the courage to end it all and get out of this living hell!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    There is light at the end of the tunnel Depression is treatable like other diseases. You need to get in and get meds to treat this illness and you need to get a therapist to help you Do this and mybe things will change and you will be back at A again happy and able to work Get help for yourself please
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Leslie,

    Hating yourself will only cause your depression to worsen, you need to deal with everything as it comes and learn to cope with it,taking it one day at a time. A therapist might be able to set you in the right direction :) Good luck xx