Just making a quick entry here, because sadly I cannot have the break I need so much... I have to go out soon but I simply don't know how, it's getting fucking unbearable to live like this, yesterday I invented some crazy excuse to skip class but today I know it won't work, I simply cannot keep on doing like this, idk what my problem is, idk if it's just a phase or whatever, what I do know is I'm struggling to do anything that requires more than sitting in a chair and putting a headphone, and I'm aware of how damaging that is, I struggle to eat, to talk to people, to do anything really... and I'm so afraid of going out now... I've really wanted to write earlier but I simply couldn't leave bed... I went to my psychologist yesterday but idk how to tell her this and how she can help me, she just leaves me there talking but I have nothing to say... just wanted to get rid of this weight in my chest, this unexplained tiredness, I feel like depression is hitting hard on me, in a way that I can't even define what I'm feeling, it's some kind of tiredness but it's not physical or mental, it's some kind of "spiritual" tiredness... I mean, it's not like I can't run or make calculations or talk to people, I can do those for sure, it's just that I FEEL tired all the time, and wanting to sleep and all that stuff, in some way I feel that I'm tired of living, like I've wasted all life left on me and now I'm depleted of it... As if I was a dead corpse that still moves someway, and then I have to deal with all this lively people all the time and I just don't feel like it, I don't have anyone I can share this with or that can help me go through this, idk how to do it on my own either or even what the reason to it might be.