Feel like I'm dead...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by leavesinthewind, Sep 9, 2016.

  1. Just making a quick entry here, because sadly I cannot have the break I need so much... I have to go out soon but I simply don't know how, it's getting fucking unbearable to live like this, yesterday I invented some crazy excuse to skip class but today I know it won't work, I simply cannot keep on doing like this, idk what my problem is, idk if it's just a phase or whatever, what I do know is I'm struggling to do anything that requires more than sitting in a chair and putting a headphone, and I'm aware of how damaging that is, I struggle to eat, to talk to people, to do anything really... and I'm so afraid of going out now... I've really wanted to write earlier but I simply couldn't leave bed... I went to my psychologist yesterday but idk how to tell her this and how she can help me, she just leaves me there talking but I have nothing to say... just wanted to get rid of this weight in my chest, this unexplained tiredness, I feel like depression is hitting hard on me, in a way that I can't even define what I'm feeling, it's some kind of tiredness but it's not physical or mental, it's some kind of "spiritual" tiredness... I mean, it's not like I can't run or make calculations or talk to people, I can do those for sure, it's just that I FEEL tired all the time, and wanting to sleep and all that stuff, in some way I feel that I'm tired of living, like I've wasted all life left on me and now I'm depleted of it... As if I was a dead corpse that still moves someway, and then I have to deal with all this lively people all the time and I just don't feel like it, I don't have anyone I can share this with or that can help me go through this, idk how to do it on my own either or even what the reason to it might be.
     
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Sorry you're not doing well. I have an idea, why not just print out what you just wrote and hand it to the psychologist? You just explained yourself pretty clearly in my opinion. If you can't put the words together verbally, at least this is a good start and she'll know how to approach you better?

    I go through phases where I simply don't want to leave the comfort and safety of my home and backyard. I've actually even stopped walking my dogs during the summer because there are way too many people around this area during the "tourist" season. I know that feeling. It's a dread and I've stopped fighting it. For you it's different though, you are in school. I don't know what to suggest about that.
     
  3. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Could it be a physical problem of some kind? Have you been to see a doctor and get checked out?
     
  4. I don't think so, as I said it's not like physical tiredness, I can run and things like this, and I get around mostly by bike. Idk if it's some medical thing either, but I'm trying to consider everything here, it's just so unbearable as of right now...
     
  5. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    could it be a side effect from the meds you are on?
     
  6. I'm not on any meds at the moment