I am an addict and I have 16 days clean. I have many co-occuring disorders, including Asperger's, Bipolar, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, Depression, and PTSD. I am currently on Depakote and Seroquel, which are maybe keeping me from going off the edge, but I'm still very depressed, and sometimes I just lose hope. I also have a current prescription for Valium, which I try to take sparingly, since it can be habit forming, but lately my depression and anxiety are getting worse, and I have to take the valium more and more often. I was only prescribed a little bit, and will be out soon. My next psychiatrist appointment is not for another 3 weeks and I only have 2 pills left (they gave me a total of 6, at the end of last month). I can't deal with this anxiety and these panic attacks anymore. I try to reach out, but my social anxiety is so bad that I can't even make a phone call. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't go back to using, it was killing me. I can't become dependent on a pill to fix me every time I break down. I can't do it alone, but I can't reach out. I don't have any control over my own life. I don't know how to handle this anymore. I spend more and more time asleep because it's my only escape. When I don't have anything left to help me, I always relapse. I can't afford that anymore, it's not working, but neither is anything else. I get sick to my stomach at the thought of leaving the house or making a phone call. I don't know how to help myself when I can't even reach out for help. I break down in tears every day because I'm going insane. I don't know how I'm supposed to go on when I'm falling apart at the seams. HELP!